Saturday, November 20, 2004

Albino Blacksheep / Flash / How to Kill a Mockingbird

Harper Lee's Classic To Kill a Mockingbird has finally been made into flash cartoon. There are a few parts I don't remember from the book, but then I haven't read it since high school.

Albino Blacksheep / Flash / How to Kill a Mockingbird

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Men's Birth Control Pill

Near the end of Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Sisko's wife got pregnant because HE forgot to take his birth control injection. That's right, in the Star Trek Universe, it's the men who have to worry about pills, injections, and possible cancer-causing hormones. (As it should be since they are the ones sticking their sperm where it shouldn't be). Here is yet another example of Star Trek becoming reality:

Male birth control pill - hormonal oral contraceptive for men

Monday, November 15, 2004

D.E.B.R.A.

Adam and I created the following revolving story today (well, yesterday since it's after midnight now). I recommend this activity to anyone who wants to write sophisticated literature; poetic, high-brow stuff. I've corrected some of the typos but have done my best to keep most of the creative punctuation intact. Enjoy.

D.E.B.R.A.
by Jen McNicoll and Adam Filipowicz


Francine was a super intelligent scientist who wanted to create a super cool Gynoid for fun, and so she would have someone to chat with about super-intelligent scientific stuff. Francine got a whole bunch popsicles sticks and thought to herself.. ah what a perfect material. Cheap available in large quantities and a neat colour.. she also got a glue gun and some sticks.. she began to glue the sticks together but then thought.. hmm maybe this isn't such a great idea.. so she went down to Radio Shack and got some super-scientific stuff including an adaptor that turned popsicle sticks into super-conductive batteries to power gynoids. She made a Gynoid and called her Debra which stood for Damn Elaborate Brain Re Android .. a very good acronym. She then stuck Debra with peanuts thinking children would like her more..

Francine and Debra took a walk to the park where They discovered a body that had been hiding in the bushes for twenty years. Debra called the cold case lady and music from the late eighties began wafting through the air coming from Debra's toes, Debra didn't understand the music as her brain wasn't advanced enough to compute the weird vibes. She began to smoke.. Francine was scared and immediately shut off Debra.. then dragged her back to her lab.. not caring about the soot that was getting all over her new shirt.

Francine installed an eighties a-track adaptor into Debra and fixed the problem. Then she called the cold case lady to see how the case was going. The great part about the cold case files is that they always solve the mystery in an hour.. so it was all solved and Francine was all confident she would not have to think about the cold case ever again.. she then went to the movies. With Debra and the cold case lady. The cold case lady paid for popcorn and jubejubies. Unfortunately the jubejubies were made with live aliens that someone had found on mars and thought was gelatin. So then Francine stuffed the cold case lady full of these jubies and the lady died very horrible death and then vanished without a trace . Never to be heard from again. And then Francine's memories of anything related to cold case was erased magically..

the next day.. They went to the cloning department in Francine's lab and cloned the cold case lady from DNA she found on her shoe. Suddenly Francine's memories of cold case came racing back. Suddenly Debra was horrified to find the cold case lady.. so she grabbed her and stuffed her into the vaporizer with any remnants of her DNA with Francine.. they both died.. Debra then went to Australia and met a guy name coolio.. they bought a microwave. The radiation from the microwave destroyed Debra's popsicle stick brain and she turned into a stupidhead that coolio had to spoon feed. Serves her right for murdering her mommy and the cold case lady.

Coolio went to Brains R Us and bought a new brain.. for Debra.. then installed in 7 minutes.. they then went to the library and took out all books based on the letters C O L & D and burned them.

One day they were watching mice run down a river of blood when.. Debra thought.. hmm I want some paper wall mounts.. to hang some zebras then thought.. I can go to the store.

Debra's brain was not working. The store where they bought it was run by the jubejubie aliens and they had it in for Debra ever since they got stuffed into the cold case lady. The aliens had some of the cold case lady's DNA and cloned her into a super slug.. since they had no idea how to clone. Anything..luckily for Debra.. these aliens were only 3 mm tall and Debra squished them.. without effort..

Debra and Coolio then lived happily ever after in their log house with 2 dogs and 4 kids, 4 cars and a nice digital camera.

The end

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Birthday/Rememberance Day Celebration

Yesterday was my birthday and I have a few things to report but first a word about Rememberance Day.

I keep seeing this commercial on television with this army guy wearing medals out to his armpit. He says that we should remember that soldiers in all those wars (WWI, WWII, etc) all fought and gave their lives and their youth so that we can have the freedoms we take for granted. In my opinion, this is a load of BS. Oh, I agree that we should remember what the veterans sacrificed. Whole families were destroyed; teenage boys died horrible deaths. But the reason that we should remember, and one of the reasons why war is so hard to take, is that the sacrifice was for no reason. No good can come of war. If we forget that, then the good ol' boys really did die for nothing.


On a lighter note
The Birthday Report

In the morning I went to Toronto with my Mommy. We went to the Eaton Centre and I bought all kinds of fab clothes that I can wear to a cushy office job (or an interview to get a cushy office job). Two red button-down shirts, two red bras, two skirts (one black and one red), and a black blazer. My mom had a CANSCAIP meeting in to go to afterwards and I had copyediting class (but I didn't go, are you crazy?).

I left my Mommy in Toronto and took the train home. Then Adam gave me his present to open. He got me a Wonder Woman Barbie Doll, a Strong Bad T-shirt, and the movie Aladdin on Disney DVD. I'm saving the wrapping because he drew cool pictures on it.

Then it was time to have birthday dinner. Normally speaking we'd have dinner at my house and my mom would make a delicious chocolate cake that leans slightly to one side, but since Mom had CANSCAIP we are doing that tonight. Anyway, the plan was to meet Amy at Café Tu Tu Tango, the artsy fartsy place I've been meaning to try in Mississauga. Unfortunately that restaurant is closed forever. So we went to Red Lobster instead. I opened Amy's prezzie while we waited for food. She got me a cool Princess Leia action figure, wearing her Jabba the Hut sexslave outfit; and a Knights of the Zodiac girl (don't ask, I have no idea). She wrapped it all nice with a Milar balloon. That's right folks, presentation is important (although I find it quite charming that my grandmother often attacks her parcels with electrical tape and that my sister has been known to wrap a present in a towel).

We all ordered the all you can eat shrimp. It turns out that all I can eat is not a whole lot. By the time my second order of shrimp, shrimp pasta, came I took one bite and was full. This might have something to do witht he fact that me and Amy ordered the Lobsterita. We thought it would be a regular-sized strawberry Marguarita but instead it was as big as our heads (no worries I wasn't driving). The thing came with some cheesey (and therefore cool) lobster beads which Wonder Woman Barbie is currently wearing. When we were done I got a free birthday dessert, a rasberry cobler which, though yummy, I could not eat. Adam ate it (he wasn't filled up with giant drink).

After dinner we said bye to Amy and me and Adam went to his house for more presents. Adam's mom gave me a sweater and a pretty red coat, Adam's sister gave me some roses, and Adam's Dad gave me a piece of the apple he was eating (just kidding, that wasn't actually a present). After that we went to my house and watched my new Aladdin DVD. Later, when I find the remote, I'll watch the special features. When I went to bed that night there were birthday cards on my bed from my nephew. Very cute.

So that was my birthday. Today is my birthday part 2. I'll get the presents from the rest of my family and we can Remember that chocolate cake is WAY better than war by eating my mom's famous leaning birthday cake.

Monday, November 08, 2004

Luck Be a Lady Bug.

There's a lady bug in my bedroom. I keep hearing this buzzing sound and raising my hand to swat the offending insect; then I see that it's a lady bug. Then I feel all guilty. I almost squashed a lady bug. Several times. Why can't I kill a lady bug you ask? Duh! Everyone knows lady bugs are good luck. Well this one better be because I'm counting on it (and my lucky earrings) to get me that job at Royal Bank.

Tuesday, November 9th, 2004

That's right, a 2-day post. Yesterday I cut the post short because Adam came over. The lady bug is crawling on my keyboard now. This should help me get my homework done for my fact-checking class; I have to write a 400 word thing on my classmate Vince. If I get done that I might enter some contests on-line.

She's crawling on my mouse cord. Mom thinks I should get rid of her: "Tell her her children are on fire." That, of course is a reference to the nursery rhyme:

Ladybug! Ladybug!
Fly away home.
Your house is on fire.
And your children all gone.

All except one,
And that's little Ann,
For she crept under the frying pan.

I think I'll call my lady bug Ann. Ann, can you make it sunny for my birthday tomorrow? It smells like winter outside. Icky.

Friday, November 05, 2004

The Blog in The Abyss

I wrote a blog all about my interview at the Royal Bank today. I even wrote it en français so that I could practice my french (because they need a bilingual person). It was beautiful and eloquent and my French wasn't half bad but, alas, when I clickety-clicked "Publish Post" the 'puter thought I'd clicked "Send Post into Abyss". I don't feel like typing the whole french rant again so if you want to hear me speak french or hear about my interview you'll just have to talk to me (now there's a concept).
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