Re-branding Myself

This summer my book is coming out.  Wardroids by J M Filipowicz.  I decided to go by my initials for a couple reasons, not the least of which is that when writing genre fiction being female is not necessarily an advantage.   Not that I plan to hide my identity (in fact, a photo of me will be included with my bio on my publisher's website).  But how much of myself should I show to the world?

My husband recently redesigned my mom's professional site. Her blog appears on the front page.  "I need a site like that to promote my book!" said I.  My initial thought was to transfer this blog to my new domain, but no, this will not do.  J M Filipowicz is a serious professional.  Super Happy Jen's Super Happy Blog has too much stuff about my kids and not enough writing-related wisdom.

The logical thing to do would be to keep two blogs.  This one, for personal stuff, and a professional one for writer stuff.  But the line between Super Happy Jen and J M Filipowicz is not so clear cut.

If I am researching for my book about lizard-like aliens and I discover an interesting fact about how turtles mate, is that worthy of a professional entry? Or is the type of silliness that should be branded Super Happy?

If I take part in an improv show, is that personal? Or should I promote it on my professional site?

Should I mention my art on my professional site?  Am I completely barred from mentioning my children? Should I keep my opinions to my personal blog, or will that leave my professional blog wanting substance?

And seeing as I can barely keep this blog up to date, how will I be able to maintain two blogs, and two distinct personas?

I've been Super Happy Jen since 2004.  J M Filipowicz is brand new.

BTW: Everyone like my facebook page!!!!

Insecure writers - It all counts

Recently, I received a contract from an ebook publisher for my first novel. I've heard stories of authors taking years to publish, and I certainly took years to write the thing.  But Double Dragon was the first publisher I sent it to and they took it.  So I'm legitimate now.  I'm an author. Really.

The little hater in my head has for years been finding ways to tell me that my writing doesn't count.  My many articles for Today's Parent Toronto don't count because my mother got me an in at that magazine, and because it's non-fiction, and not particularly literary. The short story I got published a couple years ago doesn't count because it was in the wrong genre. A story about a teenager bra shopping with her mother will not further my career as a sci fi writer.

Unfortunately my little hater hasn't been silenced.  She is finding ways to tell me that a book sold to a fairly prolific ebook publisher doesn't count either.  First, she says that nobody will by it, and there can be no real success without monetary gain. Then, the hater reminds me that as an ebook, it will never be on the shelves of a real live bookstore.  Never mind that ebooks are the new big thing. Never mind that a legitimate publisher read my work and found it worthy.

I'm beginning to suspect that I'll always feel that way.  One book doesn't count because I don't have two. Two books won't count because I don't make enough to pay the bills.  Ten books won't count because I haven't won awards or made a million dollars or become a household name.

I wonder if J.K. Rowling has these insecurities, or Stephenie Meyer, or Robert J. Sawyer, or Ursula Le Guin, or Stephen King.  I'd like to think they all do.  I'd like to think that these insecurities are an integral part of the creative psyche, proof that at my core I am an author.







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Six Sentence Sunday....Random Wardroids Snippet

Six Sentence Sunday is a blogging thing where published and unpublished authors post six sentences of something they've written every Sunday. This week I've decided to participate. (All part of my ongoing goal of weaseling myself into a writing community of some sort).  Anyway, below is a snippet of my recently finished novel Wardroids.  The character speaking here is my protagonist Emily Reid, the only women on a third-class mining spaceship.  Other characters mentioned: Thirty-two Eighty the wardroid sex slave, and Adam Black the ship's Commander. Though you could probably have figured all that out. Here it is: 


I step over an unconscious man as I enter the crowded room and wonder if he passed out there, or if the men saw an opportunity and used him as a human doorstop.  I don’t see Thirty-two Eighty at first but then she emerges from under a table.  Someone shouts “my turn Honey!” and suddenly she’s pinned against the wall and pretending to enjoy herself.  Adam Black isn’t here.  Though he’s never had any qualms about using the wardroid, he doesn’t like sharing her in public.  The thought of what they do in private makes my stomach queasy.


So there you have it. Does it make you want to read the book?  Buy the book?  Publish the book? Comment below with your rave reviews of my writing prowess.

How to write (and raise two small children)

Today is insecure writer’s support group day, so I thought I’d write something that will (hopefully) help writers and mothers alike.  Like any mom and writer, I struggle with feelings of inadequacy.  I feel like I’m either neglecting my writing or my children or both.  Nevertheless, I have been doing this a while and I have some tips to share that might help other writers and/or mothers in my situation.  (These tips are in no particular order).

Tip # 1  Use indoor playgrounds as your office.  I watch for coupons for these places because I have neither the desire nor the funds to pay full price.  The kids have fun, get exercise, and require minimal supervision because there are no roads to run into or creepy men who came without a child. Most indoor playgrounds have WiFi, which is unfortunate for those of us who find the web a distraction.  Also when it gets busy, it gets loud.  The morning is the best time to go for low crowds.  Anyway, even writing with a little background noise is better than hearing “Mommy” every five minutes.


Tip # 2.  Let things slide.  Chores that will not get done when I’m on a good streak with my writing include (but are not limited to): laundry, dishes, general tidying, cooking dinner, grocery shopping, walking the dog, washing my hair, washing my children.  If you’re worried about visitors, know that no one will disown you if you have a messy house (at least, no one important).  Children, of course, do need love and attention (and food) but they will whine when they are not getting enough, so there’s no need to worry.

Tip # 3.  TV is not evil.  If you’ve ever sat down and watched television for preschoolers you know that it is educational to the point of being vomit-inducing.  Through schmarmy plots about love and friendship they are learning about science, reading, math, geography, history.  You name it.  And they do retain the information.  If you don’t believe me, have a conversation with my four-year-old. When I don’t have the money or energy for indoor play places, the tube helps me get my quota.

Tip #4. Remember that it is good for your children to see you doing things for yourself.  I do not want my kids (particularly my daughter) to grow up thinking that they have to put everyone else before themselves.  I want them to follow their dreams, and do what makes them passionate.  The best way to do this is to lead by example.

Tip # 5.  Have a writing quota.  And make it fairly small.  My quota is 500 words.  If I kill myself I can make it.  A lot of writers  have quotas of 1000 or even 2000.  Well La Tee Da.  Those writers don’t have small children to take care of.

Tip # 6. Make a “Winner List” and a “Super Star List”.  This one I borrowed from Margie Lawson. A winner list is for things you must get done today (make it small and achievable) and the super star list is for things you would like to get done if you have time.  I don’t always keep up with this, but when I do it really helps.

Tip #7.  Write a sentence at a time.  Including thinking and typing, it takes me about two hours to get my quota.  I don’t always have two hours at a stretch, so sometimes I take ten minutes and write a sentence (sometimes even half a sentence) whenever I get the chance. Sometimes, I find I have more time than I thought I did and I get an hour when I thought I only had ten minutes. (More often it works the other way around).

Tip #8.  Don’t beat yourself up.  This is the hardest thing of all.  I read over the first three tips and thought “I sound like the worst mother in the world.”   I feel guilty when my laptop sits unopened for three days, and even guiltier when I get my writing done while the offspring enjoy their third viewing of Ratatouille. I write for myself, so I shouldn’t feel guilty about not doing it.  I need to do things for myself, so I shouldn’t feel guilty about doing it either. (Neither should you).

Peruse the links below for more insecure writers writing about their struggles.

Writing Retreat

Today I am blogging to you, on location from Halcyon Haven in sunny Lombardy. I'm attending a writing retreat with five of my fellow authors,three of whom I know from writer's group, and two new faces.

Yesterday my friend (and fellow writer type) Siobhan and I drove seven hours through traffic.  We ate at a restaurant frequented by truckers which was attached to a convenience store. There were quite a few flies but the food was decent.  Plus, my meal came with ice cream (no, I did not order from the kids menu).  Anyway we arrived last, in the dark, and got slightly lost by the end because my GPS, a typical male, only pretended to know where it was going.

This place is quite nice, right on the lake.  Looking out the window, it feels as though the whole house is floating on the water.  My friend Sharon (also a writer-type, just assume everyone I mention is a writer) organized this whole thing and has all kinds of workshops planned.  She also has a delicious menu and made us a fritata this morning with lots of delicious vegetables ( I love when my eggs have many colours in them). Of course I'm more excited about the woman-food than anything else.

Anyway, in the interest of social networking, here are links to everyone's websites:

Carole Ann: TK

Elaine: elainecougler.wordpress.com

Siobhan: agayinthelifeofmelindafinch.blogspot.com

Sharon: sharonclare.com

Sherry: sherryisaac.com

me: jennifer.filipowicz.ca

Getting My To-Do List Done (Hey, it's exciting to me!)

So I told myself I would blog every day, or at least every other day, except maybe not on the weekend...... Anyway now it's been three days and nothing from me.  Don't worry, I'm okay (although my snowman has melted).

I have been keeping up with my writing goal of 500 (or more) words a day, which is good because I'm on book #2.   This one is set on an alien planet with a matriarchal society.  The lizard-like people have three genders: women , nursemen (who raise the children), and nestmen (who cook, clean, and protect the family).   Also, through the magic of made-up genetics, the story features a human hybrid.  The characters all have to overcome rigid and conflicting gender roles to find their places in society.  It should be a pretty good read once I'm all done.

I got my first rejection from an agent this week.  I'm going to go ahead and call that a good thing too.  She got back to me much faster that I expected and besides, only real writers get rejections. 

Today I also:
Filled and emptied the dishwasher.
Put away some laundry.
Read a lecture for my Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviours course.
Had a Skype meeting with some of my writer friends who are taking the course too.
Sent another query.
Exchanged a recently purchased copy of "UP" at FutureShop (the blu-ray disc was missing).
Bought a few necessities (bread, milk, snacks) at the grocery store.
Cashed some cheques at the bank.
Made some delicious oatmeal, raison, chocolate chip muffins.

BTW:  Nothing to do with anything, but if you haven't seen it yet, the video below is pretty great.  About halfway through I realized the guy is actually singing, not lip-syncing, which makes it all the more awesome.

Dancing Washing Machines and Productivity

So my Mom took William out tobogganing with my nephew, and Jadzia napped (still is napping), so I had some time to myself.  I had high hopes of being extra productive, but I only had enough time to put in a load of laundry before they came home.  And I'm not one of those people who separates her lights and darks either.  If it all turns out grey, so be it.  Life is too short.

Turns out I forgot that William's comforter was in the washing machine, with puke on it from his bout of illness on Saturday night.  I stuffed an entire load of laundry on top of that, just squished it in over capacity.  Last time I tried this the load was so unbalanced that my washer had its own private dance party.   It's not doing that now, but it might start to boogie down at the spin cycle.  I'm wearing one of my summer shirts today, the one that looks nice the moment I put it on, then starts riding up and showing my stretch-marked belly.  Hence, laundry needed to be done.

I already finished my 500 words today, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself.  I'm a writer, not a housewife after all. 

Spin cycle!  I can hear the dance party starting now.

500 words a day

So I've been trying to be more productive with writing.  I'm committed to making a career out of being a science fiction author.  The book I'm working on now I wrote a first draft of when I was about nineteen, the one I plan on finishing next I began shortly afterwards.  I did the math, at 500 words a day, I can write 50 000 words (about the length of my novel) in 4 months.  Why has it taken me over a decade?

Oh I did some other stuff in between, finished university, got married, had two kids.  I also logged a lot of hours of Tetris, Wii, Farmville, Farm Frenzy, and whatever else happened to be my game of the week.  Occasionally I did slightly more productive things.  I painted, I made flash cartoons, I blogged, I wrote for Today's Parent Toronto (thank you, mom).  For a while I wanted to work for a magazine, but ideas for articles don't come to me the way ideas for science fiction stories do.  I sent one query, which I wrote in magazine writing class.  It was kindly rejected.

I now have real excuses.  Adorable excuses named William and Jadzia, who demand my attention before I can complete a sentence.  As I was writing this post, William came to me crying because he had somehow put a chair on his toe.  Jadzia is sitting on my lap right now colouring.  There are pen marks all over her arms and mine.  I no longer have long stretches of uninterrupted time to myself.  I squandered those in my youth. I think my mother tried to warn me.  She has 28 books published.  I'd be happy with one or two.

I'm more committed now than I have ever been.  My book will be done by February 4th.  It's good enough to be published and I won't give up until it is.  And I won't stop writing, I will finish this book and the next and the next.  I will outline and plan.  I will sell.  I will be so ambitious and obnoxious that you won't recognize me.  I am talented.  I'm no longer going to sheepishly pretend that I'm not.  I'm no longer going to be so afraid of success that I won't even try.

BTW: To my friends and family: after February 4th, be on my case.  I recognize that selling the book will be the hard part, and I'll need lots of encouragement to stay on track.  Thanks.

Basically Sophisticated

I've just been informed that google can now filter results by reading level. As you know, I'm a very sophistercated writer and google will probably list me as highly advanced.

Hmmmn. Well, I'm going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.

Well, if you like writing that's accessible to the masses, you still have time (until tommorrow) to vote for me. Be warned, the Creative Burlington site is written at the intermediate level.

For those who have been missing my on-line presence

My writing brain is mostly being used up for working on my sci fi novel.  This is the same book that I wrote in my early 20s, then read over a few years ago and said to myself "GAH! Why didn't anyone tell me this was so bad?"  I've since been re-writing it to fit my standards of perfection.  When I say re-writing, I don't mean editing.  The plot, characters, and settings have all drastically changed.  I'm a better writer now.  I'm loosely using the book First Draft in 30 Days by Karen Wiesner to help me stay on track, but since my novel has been around in some form or another for almost a decade, you could say I'm not following her time frame.  But this is the first time I've created a scene-by-scene outline, and I'm confident the book will be finished by Christmas (hopefully earlier).

After that my plan of action will be:

• Create a nice pitch letter and synopsis (pitching is my least favourite thing, and I'm really bad at it, so I'll probably need help with this).
• Send the pitch to agents until one of them bites
• While that is going on, write an outline for one of my other books.  I have three projects on the back burner.  One is still in the idea stage, the other two have several chapters written (though I don't know right now whether they are up to my standards of perfection).

Next year, William will start kindergarten and the year after that Jadzia will start school.  It would be nice if I could get something in print by then, so I don't have to start making a living working at McDonald's or something.

You guys are all probably dying to know what my book is about.  If you promise not to steal my idea then I'll tell you, okay?  (Keep in mind, that since making a synopsis is a lot like pitching, I'm also not that good at it):

In the future, there's going to be this war between Earth and the outer human colonies which is fought and won by robot soldiers called "wardroids".  My book takes place 50 years after this war, when the wardroids have all been refitted to be workers and sex slaves (I know, fun right?)  The three main characters (who tell the story through alternating, first-person view points)  are: Emily, a mechanic aboard a space-mining vessel who has no memory of her past; Commander Black,  Emily's boss and former lover; and 32-80, a wardroid who works on the same ship and is a key player in the wardroid uprising.  The book is all about how their pasts and destinies are intertwined.  And there will be action and romance and all that.

Yesterday I killed someone (in my book not in real life, duh) and I was kind of feeling bummed about it.  It's a solution to the problem of evil when you think about it: Why does God cause so much suffering?  As a plot device!  The guy was a red shirt from the beginning, but still it's amazing the guilt one can feel from murdering a fictional character.  Anyway, other than that I've not been depressed or anything, just immersed in other forms of creativity (and, I must admit, some less constructive distractions as well).

Neglect.

It's happened again, I've neglected my blog. I have a few excuses for this:

• William is in the process of giving up naps and thus I have less me time during the day. Also my exhaustion level rises proportionate to his crankiness level.
• I've been spending my evenings watching DVD box sets of tv shows I borrowed from the library. They only give you a week before you get slapped with a fine and forget about renewing because they're all on hold.
• I've actually been writing my novel for a change. The wonderful people in my writer's group know that I'm pretty good at neglecting that.
• General laziness.

I have been doing things, though. My mind is itching with events that, while perhaps not interesting to the world, are blog-worthy at least for documentation purposes. Stay tuned.