P is for Pee and Poo

That's right, I went there.  As most of you who are reading this know, pee and poo belongs in the toilet, where it can be easily flushed away and is unlikely to cause a painful rash or messy cleanup.  You'd think that someone who has spent their entire lives soiling themselves would welcome the new and improved method.  And you'd be wrong.  People are very resistant to change. They enjoy the comfort of being wrapped in cushy plastic.  They enjoy having the excrement lovingly wiped from their nether regions.  They even enjoy seeing their mother's frustration.

By "they" I'm referring to my daughter, Jadzia.  Yes, she is SO OLD.  I've told her.  Kindergarten is coming.  Deadline: September. She's still in a pull-up full time.

We've gone through several toilet training attempts.  I've bribed her with various forms of candy, with nail polish, with praise.  Our most successful attempt occurred a few months ago, when I let her go half naked all the time.  While our basement began to smell like urine, most of her pees and poos ended up in the potty.  She even climbed onto the big toilet by herself.

She then graduated to underwear.  I don't care how many diapers you've changed, there's nothing more disgusting than poopy panties.  You can't tear them at the sides like diapers so they must be slowly peeled from the body, smearing excrement on their legs and your hands.  If you ask my daughter, she'd tell you that poo belongs in the potty, but in practice she doesn't follow her own rules.

I have since given up all attempts at toilet training.  It causes too much frustration, and Jadzia enjoys the power struggle too much.  She'll go on the toilet occasionally, particularly when we're out.  Mostly number one.  If she has to poo, she hides in her bedroom.

My daughter is smart, which is part of the problem.  She's too smart to be tricked out of diapers.

Week in review

Today I'm supposed to think back over the past seven days and think of the things that went really well for me. These can be trivial or more life changing.  It was an uneventful week for the most part so mostly trivial then.

1. I've had Jadzia wandering around the house half naked (bottom half) to encourage her to use the potty.  It's worked fairly well.  She goes pee by herself on the toilet.  She's even climbed onto the big toilet by herself and one time she managed to get the nail polish and reward herself by painting her nails. Occasionally she has accidents, and by "accidents" I of course mean deliberately peeing on a piece of furniture just to get a rise out of daddy.

2. I registered Jadzia for junior kindergarten. She wore underwear and went pee in the staff washroom at school. I mentioned to the secretary that she wasn't quite toilet trained and she handed me a pamphlet. The fact that they have such pamphlets for parents of kindergarten students makes me feel so much better about having a stubborn 3-year-old in diapers.

3. My inlaws gave us a new tv.  It is much flatter than our old tv and hangs nicely on the wall. My husband is now obsessed with watching our blu ray movies to take advantage of the good picture quality.  Last night, Avatar.  We still have our ginormous tv (which was also a hand me down from the inlaws) and it still works, so if anyone has the man power to attempt to remove it from our basement, it can be yours.

So that's it.  Now I'm supposed to have good good happy feelings that last for months and months.  Well, I don't feel depressed or anything, so it must be working!

Jadzia's accomplishments

Yesterday, while we were at the Early Years Centre, my daughter coloured this picture:

This is a fine example of how Jadzia's artistic skill far exceeds the norm for a child of two and a half.  See how she chose appropriate colours for the flowers and stem, and kept those colours to the right general area! The real joy is to see the concentration on her face as she creates.  She would never choose a marker at random, and instead takes the utmost care with every colour selection.

And that's not all!  Jadzia is in full potty-training mode (she has trained me to give her an M&M every time she pees on the toilet).  After Jadzia had completed her masterpiece at the Early Years, we went next door to Ikea for a little lunch and some fun.  While we were in the front entrance of the store, Jadzia exclaimed "I go potty now!"  then immediately dropped her pants, showing a naked bottom half to amused furniture shoppers.  My friend Columbia, who had been watching Jadzia while I wrote on my netbook, quickly grabbed her and rushed her to the nearest toilet.  Since my daughter had peed on the toilet only minutes before, my expectations were low.  Miraculously, she pooed on the toilet!  I gave her two M&M's.

 

Success!

On Saturday my friend Becca and I bribed William, saying that he could play in the Ikea play area if he learned to use wear underwear all the time and use the potty. Today I'm happy to say I was able to keep my promise.

Before we signed William and his friend Aedan in, we had to swear on the souls of our ancesters that they were both completely toilet trained. Of course, said I. Noone has to know that William had only been wearing underwear a little less than five days.

The boys played while Becca and I (and Jadzia) had lunch at the Ikea restaurant. When we got back an hour later, we found out that William and Aedan had gotten kicked out of the ball pit for throwing balls (gasp). But much to my relief, had not soiled the ball area resulting in a ban from the premises.

After the bribe had been carried out, the boys ate sandwiches that I had packed and then Becca and Aedan had to catch the bus. (William was very disappointed that we had to take the car home). William held his pee (he doesn't like using public toilets) until we got home with no accident. He even opted to wear underwear during his nap.

Hooray!

Best Birthday EVER!

I'll hit the end of my third decade in a couple days, so yesterday we commemorated the event with a wild party in my honour. My fabulous husband cleaned the house, made pierogi lasagna, and baked a cake shaped like the Enterprise. The "wildness" came in the form of children of various ages that attended.

That morning, as my husband was getting ready for the shindig, I took the kids to Ikea with my friend Becca and her family. Becca showed William the play area Ikea has for kids to play in while adults shop. The room has a ballroom, big screen, TV, play kitchen, train table, and tonnes of toys. William's eyes were wide as saucers as Becca told him that this was a special place where no Mommies were allowed, but kids can go if (and here's the catch) they know how to use the potty and wear underwear all the time. William immediately wanted to put underwear on. We promised to come back on Wednesday if he kept wearing underwear, so he could play there with his friend Aedan (Becca's son who is already toilet trained). So far he's still wearing underwear (with several accidents). If this works, Becca doesn't have to get me anything for birthday or Christmas at least until Jadzia turns 2.

Some fun moments:
My friend's daughter 7 1/2 year old Katelyn totally crushing on my nephew Hunter.
William and his friend Leyla having a twenty minute hug and wrestle fest. Yes, love was in the air.
William peeing on the carpet in front of like ten people.
My totally awesome Star Trek Cake.
The screening of my brother's wedding video on Adam's computer, including hilarious video clips depicting the history of my brother's filmmaking career.

Did I mention my totally awesome cake? I don't really have a picture of it before it was devoured. Anyone?

William, Craig, and a bunch of other people, dancing in front of the wedding slideshow.

Karaoke after party with Eireann and Craig!

BTW: William still pees on the floor, and on chairs, but now he comes rushing to us after he does it, announcing "I'm going to clean up all pee."

Also: William pulled down his underwear and peed on his little potty, which is small enough that he can carry it around himself.

Underwear: Day 2

This morning William woke up and wanted to wear his underwear immediately. I opted to skip our usual trip to the Early Years Centre in favour of pee patrol. I asked him often whether he needed to go pee, and about every forty minutes to an hour I staged a mandatory bathroom trip. Each time he would stand in front of the toilet and let loose a satifying stream of urine and he didn't have one pee-accident all morning.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same about number two. The good news is that his Transformers underwear contained the toddler excrement quite nicely. A relief, since he was sitting on our beige sofa at the time. The bad news is that I was stuck cleaning partially digested grapes out of my child's tightie whities.

I put William in a clean pair of underwear, rinsed out the stinky ones, threw them in the wash, declogged my sink, and washed my hands three times. William stayed dry for the rest of the morning.

Just after lunch, I took him to the washroom and put him in a pull-up in anticipation of nap time. Then I fed Jadzia and put her in a crib. In all, William was in his pull-up for about ten minutes. So of course he pooed in it.

I had just taken him to the potty but, being a boy, he's all gung ho about standing to pee and not so thrilled about sitting on the toilet to do his business. Whatever, I'm just glad the second one was in a pull-up. I'm told that children are toilet trained for pee long before the get poo, but I'm highly motivated to minimize future underwear messes.

I haven't decided yet what my plan is for the afternoon. Should we try undies at my parents' house this evening?

In any case, I'm calling this morning's toilet training another great success.

Underwear: Day 1

Yesterday I asked William if he wanted to wear big boy underwear like Daddy, he excitedly answered "Um, Okay!" So this morning, before my husband went to work, we took a family trip to "the Underwear Store" (aka Zellers). We made a big deal out of letting him pick out his new undies and he studied each package, exclaiming "Look at this underwear!" and "What's this one Mommy?" Finally he settled on a pack of Transformers undies (odd since he doesn't watch the show), with my husband quickly tossing some Cars and Thomas the Tank Engine packs in the cart aswell.

On the way home William told me "I like the underwear store Mommy."

When we got home, I was all gung ho and asked if he wanted to put his new underwear on right away. "No, I will not wear underwear," he replied. "I will have watermelon."

So we had a snack, then we read some books, then I fed Jadzia. While I was occupied with his sister, William pooed in his pull-up.
"Let's change your diaper," said I.
"Noooooo! I will not change diaper." Meltdown.
I counted to five, ready to pick him up and carry him to the washroom, when he suddenly calmed himself and marched toward the bathroom, chanting "I will wear underwear. Underwear in the washroom."

After I'd cleaned his bum, he peed in the potty man-style. I offered him his Transformer underwear first, since that was the one he picked. Once he had them on he said "No, I will not wear Transformers underwear. I will wear racecar underwear."
So I helped him take the Transformers briefs off and slip on a pair of Cars undies.
"No, I will not wear racecar underwear. I will wear Thomas underwear."
Fine, whatever. I helped him put the Thomas the Tank Engine ones on. I expected him to change his mind again, but this time William seemed satisfied with his choice.


He ran around the coffee table excitedly for about twenty seconds, then exclaimed "I'm hungry." It was almost lunch time, so I fixed some zoodles while William munched on a yogurt appetizer. When the food was ready, I noticed that William was not sitting at the table wear I'd left him. He was in his room. So was about a gallon of pee.

"Did you pee on the floor?" I asked him and he responded by slipping and falling on the wet mess. I told him it was okay and accidents happen sometimes and next time he felt like he needed to pee to please tell me (a repeat of the same speech I'd given him about a hundred times before the underwear excursion began). Then I rescued his books from the edge of the puddle (he'd managed not to pee directly on any of them) and wiped the floor with a towel.

I helped William change his underwear, though the ones he was wearing were only barely wet. Then we had lunch and I let William play on my computer for a bit. He had about an hour of dry underwear time before it was time for nap.

"Your underwear is dry, good for you!" I exclaimed. I asked him if he would like to sit on the potty. "No." Then I asked him if he would like to pee in the potty. "No." I asked him eight more different ways if he was sure. "No." I suggested we put a diaper on him so he doesn't pee on the bed. "No, no, no, no," he said and ran out of the washroom and went straight to the bedroom and sat on his bed.

I told him he could wear his underwear to bed, as long as he came and got me if he needed to pee, and he didn't pee on his sheets. At that moment he got a faraway look in his eyes and wet splotch formed under him. Gah! I carried him to the toilet, pulled off his underwear and put a pull-up on him. Then I changed his bedding. Okay, maybe I said the word "pee" too many times, but it all seemed rather premeditated to me.

I told him I understand that he is just learning and apologized for getting frustrated. Then we read stories and he went to sleep, in a pull-up. This afternoon we're going out, so I'll forego the big-boy undies until tomorrow. I'm calling this morning a success.