Success!

On Saturday my friend Becca and I bribed William, saying that he could play in the Ikea play area if he learned to use wear underwear all the time and use the potty. Today I'm happy to say I was able to keep my promise.

Before we signed William and his friend Aedan in, we had to swear on the souls of our ancesters that they were both completely toilet trained. Of course, said I. Noone has to know that William had only been wearing underwear a little less than five days.

The boys played while Becca and I (and Jadzia) had lunch at the Ikea restaurant. When we got back an hour later, we found out that William and Aedan had gotten kicked out of the ball pit for throwing balls (gasp). But much to my relief, had not soiled the ball area resulting in a ban from the premises.

After the bribe had been carried out, the boys ate sandwiches that I had packed and then Becca and Aedan had to catch the bus. (William was very disappointed that we had to take the car home). William held his pee (he doesn't like using public toilets) until we got home with no accident. He even opted to wear underwear during his nap.

Hooray!

It's my real birthday today

It's my real birthday today, as opposed to my birthday party on Saturday. I had to celebrate before the actual day, because I assumed I would be far more fun loving and carefree while still in my twenties. Well I've passed that deadline. I'm thirty. I'm old. Or at least, I'm an adult.

Today I spent the morning with one very good friend and the evening with another. Becca and Amy both went to elementary school and high school with me, and were both in my wedding party when I got married. Becca, who I spent the morning with, and I have followed similar paths, our sons are the same age and are really good friends. On the other hand Amy, who came over for dinner, is a career-woman who uses her excess income to travel the world. Funny how that works. I feel like we just graduated high school together. In fact, it's been a little over ten years.

All in all it was a pretty good, if somewhat low key birthday. Having already celebrated on Saturday, I didn't feel the need for any hoopla. Adam was late from work, which was fine (I had Amy), and I even had a birthday cake (which somebody brought to the party and was in our freezer).

So anyway if you want to get me a present, or click on the donation button, today would be the day to do it. Alternatively, if all two hundred people (who apparently read this blog on a regular basis) sing Happy Birthday in your heads at once, you might reach me telepathically.

Best Birthday EVER!

I'll hit the end of my third decade in a couple days, so yesterday we commemorated the event with a wild party in my honour. My fabulous husband cleaned the house, made pierogi lasagna, and baked a cake shaped like the Enterprise. The "wildness" came in the form of children of various ages that attended.

That morning, as my husband was getting ready for the shindig, I took the kids to Ikea with my friend Becca and her family. Becca showed William the play area Ikea has for kids to play in while adults shop. The room has a ballroom, big screen, TV, play kitchen, train table, and tonnes of toys. William's eyes were wide as saucers as Becca told him that this was a special place where no Mommies were allowed, but kids can go if (and here's the catch) they know how to use the potty and wear underwear all the time. William immediately wanted to put underwear on. We promised to come back on Wednesday if he kept wearing underwear, so he could play there with his friend Aedan (Becca's son who is already toilet trained). So far he's still wearing underwear (with several accidents). If this works, Becca doesn't have to get me anything for birthday or Christmas at least until Jadzia turns 2.

Some fun moments:
My friend's daughter 7 1/2 year old Katelyn totally crushing on my nephew Hunter.
William and his friend Leyla having a twenty minute hug and wrestle fest. Yes, love was in the air.
William peeing on the carpet in front of like ten people.
My totally awesome Star Trek Cake.
The screening of my brother's wedding video on Adam's computer, including hilarious video clips depicting the history of my brother's filmmaking career.

Did I mention my totally awesome cake? I don't really have a picture of it before it was devoured. Anyone?

William, Craig, and a bunch of other people, dancing in front of the wedding slideshow.

Karaoke after party with Eireann and Craig!

BTW: William still pees on the floor, and on chairs, but now he comes rushing to us after he does it, announcing "I'm going to clean up all pee."

Also: William pulled down his underwear and peed on his little potty, which is small enough that he can carry it around himself.

William Quote of The Day

As I was standing on the road buckling William into his carseat:

"Mommy watch out for cars. Watch out for cars Mommy. A car will come and it will hit you and you'll be dead. And you'll turn into an octopus."

I'll leave that open to interpretation.

Super Happy Paintings

Some of you may recall that I went to school for art, specializing in painting. That's right, I have all the qualifications required to become a professional artiste. My friend Becca turned me on to Etsy, a site for selling handmade crafty stuff (like paintings).

I've posted a few fun paintings that you can buy. They're 8 x 10s, which is small so obviously I recommend buying several and hanging them together in your own Jen exhibit. In the past I've painted larger works, and plan to again, but for the moment my Mom brain cannot contemplate the logistics of mailing anything larger than an 8 x 10.

If you're not so interested in buying paintings, check out the shop anyway. I just threw it up so I could get my work out there and any suggestions for improvement would be appreciated.

The H1N1 Line

I've heard some crazy stuff about the Swine Flu and flu shots in general, but truthfully I was more worried about waiting in line with small children than I was about any bizarre complications. My Dad is super pro-vaccine, so I easily convinced him to wait with me in the ridiculous line up.

The clinic we went to was open from 12 to 8, so we arrived at 10:50 to beat the rush. The parking lot was already full, so I let my Dad out with Jadzia, and he held our spot in line while I parked down the street with William. The above photo shows what the line behind us looked like at 11:30. This is also about the time that I ran out of healthy food to give to the children. William had already eaten a sandwich, a yogurt, and two clementines (one in the car on the way there).

Luckily the clinic, held at a high school, opened early. By 12:30 we were inside, just past a sign reading "1 hour wait beyond this point". We quickly burned through the handful of halloween candy I brought with me, and Jadzia threw my Dad's glasses on the floor 800 times.

The kids behaved reasonably well the entire time. A woman behind me even commented how good they were being. Although when we hit the end of the food, and passed nap time, William stopped listening to me and ran around the school gym, playing with caution tape, jumping on chairs, and generally being a bad influence on other kiddies.

We got our shots at around 1:30. Even my Dad got one because he's a school bus driver (I think that makes you high priority or maybe it was because he was with us). Neither William nor Jadzia cried when the shots went in. Jadzia cried afterwards, but quickly calmed down when I shoved a boob in her mouth in the recovery area (aka the other side of the gym), where they make you wait 15 minutes.

Apparently the kids have to get a booster of this shot at the end of the month, but I'm hoping my doctor will have it by then. The next time I stand in a line like this, I'd better be seeing a rock star, or a play, or getting on an airplane to go some place exotic.

Candy, candy, candy, zoo!

In many ways having kids is like reliving my childhood...in bizarro world. After years of donning costumes and shlepping a pillow case of treats around the neighbourhood, it's very strange to be the parent hanging back on the driveway calling out "Say Thank You." (I also was all mommyish and made a pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds, although the seeds burnt).

Noone stayed to hand out candy, our entire family of four went down the street and back. (Despite the fact that we had two kids with us, my little cowgirl did not earn us double-candy). On the way home, William decided that climbing people's front steps in an over-sized horse costume was not worth the free candy. "How 'bout I just go home and eat some candy. How 'bout that?"

My parents put him to bed that night (we had a stag and doe to go to) but I can only assume that the sugar adversely affected the bedtime process. I'm torn about how to ration his candy. On the one hand he shouldn't have too much at a time, on the other hand he earned it so it doesn't seem fair to keep it from him. On the one hand he will eat nothing but candy to the exclusion of all else, on the other hand if we ration it too much the candy debate will go on forever. And the couch will be sticky. I will definitely have to eat some.

Today, we decided that we should go to the zoo. A sugar rush, followed by a day without a nap. Nice. At least we didn't bring the candy stash (just a few chocolate bars in our picnic lunch). Jadzia loved the zoo. I took her out of the stroller so she could see the animals and she was so happy. She even learned a new trick: pointing! I would point at a lion, or a monkey, or a rhino, and she would look at my finger and laugh, then immitate me by sticking her arm out. I think she liked some of the animals too, the tiger in particular. I enjoyed the giraffe, who was kneeling down bizarrely to eat the grass and the tigers, who we saw being fed (the keeper said that he was feeding them horse meat). On the way home, the kids fell asleep in the car, and the adults wanted to.

After dinner, William asked if we could go trick-or-treating again.

Mall Trick-or-Treating

Tonight we trick-or-treated at the Mapleview Mall. So did everyone in Burlington, apparently. The place was a zoo (and not just because most of the kids were dressed like animals). I was meeting some friends there but some of them I didn't end up seeing, and the rest I saw but lost them immediately in the insanity of the candy grab.

William doesn't quite get the concept of dashing from store to store grabbing as much candy as you can. Instead, he waited until I yelled "William! This lady's giving out candy! Say trick or treat!" then mosied over and silently held out his hand. This was followed by ten to fifteen seconds of examining his treat bag. Then he'd say "Mommy. How 'bout I go sit down at a table and eat my candy."

Needless to say our haul wasn't that great. (Especially since the stores were particularly stingy with the chocolate). Oh well, there's always Saturday.

I've been told I don't blog enough about Jadzia. She doubled her teeth in the last few days (her top front two came in) and still she doesn't get candy. William actually got more "Awe, how cute"s today than she did, so she must be growing up. Too young to eat candy, but old enough to complain about not getting any candy. No wonder she refused to wear her cowgirl hat for more than five seconds.

We left before we had hit all the stores because William was sweating to death in his horse outfit. I bought a tube of Thomas the Tank Engine toothpaste on my way out and William balked, proclaiming "Mommy! You said we were going home! Let's go home now, Mommy!"

On a sidenote, a CHCH News reporter was there pretending to trick-or-treat for the camera as we walked by. I doubt we got on tv, but you never know, we could be famous now.

William quotes of the day

While playing with my wristwatch:

"I'm just pushing your buttons. I know how to push your buttons, Mommy."

So true.

When asked to come to the washroom to have his diaper changed:

"No! I'm a shooting guy!" (Makes an angry face and 'shoots' me with the syringe from his doctor's kit).

Halloween party at Columbia's

Cuteness alert! Here are all the children who attended yesterday's Halloween Party: Londyn (princess), Leyla (dragon), Aedan (lion), baby Zoe (chicken), William (horse), Zoe (dalmation), and Jadzia (cow girl to go with the horse, get it?).

My friend Columbia went all out for this party. Children are quite happy playing with a few toys and each other, and Moms are even easier to please, wanting only a place to sit and chat while the kids are otherwise occupied. Let me tell you, we had much more than that! There were many varieties of snacks (some provide by other mums), guck and moon sand to play with (you know you probably shouldn't mix those), circle time with a home made halloween pinata, and loot bags to take home. Did I miss something? Ah yes, pumpkin decorating:



When I asked William which party pic to include in my blog post, he insisted I include this one of Leyla, him, and Aedan drinking juice boxes (the juice boxes may have been the highlight of his day). This was near the end of the party when all costumes had been removed. My son even feeling comfortable enough to go pants free.

Leyla incidently has quite the crush on William. She got him to help her take her shoes off, enjoyed playing with the moon sand and guck together (and mixing them gah!), and later pulled off William's horse hood and exclaimed "It's you William! William it's you!" Of course when Leyla was gone, William was content to play with Zoe in the elevator. He's quite the ladies man.

As if hosting this weren't an exhausting enough affair, Columbia is already planning a Christmas Party and a Birthday Party. Just thinking about it makes me want to go have a nap.

Family videos of the future

My husband and I have been playing with JibJab's "starring me" video selection. I've posted a couple of my favorites below.

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Today.

I took this picture today, because William asked me to. "Take a picture Mommy," he said. I had to run to the car to get my camera. Surprisingly, when I got back they were both still standing in the same place, posing.

In the picture, William is holding one of the cookies we just made together. He is without a shirt because, while we were making cookies, he poured an entire bottle of vanilla on himself. I handed him the vanilla when I was getting ingredients out, thinking it was a fairly safe ingredient for him to carry to the table (plastic bottle, cap won't come off if dropped). As I was reaching for the sugar, I heard William's little voice say "Mommy, I got vanilla on my shirt." Indeed, it was not only on his shirt, but all over the table, on the chair, and on the floor. The only place that was completely free of vanilla, was inside the vanilla bottle.

Did I mention that I was already exhausted by this point? My daughter is allegedly getting a new tooth, and got me to share in her misery by keeping me up all night. Jadzia was playing the scream-until-Mommy-holds-me game at 1, 1:30, 2, 2:30, 5, 5:30, and 6. I think it was teething because when I gave her Advil, she went longer before screaming again (just long enough for the meds to wear off), but she could just as easily have been messing with me.

My husband was kind enough to let me sleep in all the way to 9:30! Still, I was looking forward to a nap (for William, of course, not me). We didn't go out in the morning, partly because of my late start, partly because I was feeling lazy, so I guess it's not surprising that he refused to go to sleep. I fed him lunch, I read him stories, I tucked him in, I hugged and kissed him and his stuffies. He just kept getting up, screaming when I put him back in his room. Finally I gave up and said "Let's make cookies!"

A little while after the picture was taken, I decided that I needed to get out of the house. I remembered that there was an Early Years Centre drop-in on Monday evenings that I never go to (because it's on Monday evenings). It was just before 5, and Adam had messaged me to say he wouldn't be leaving work until 6. Far too long to be cooped up in the house any longer.

On the way I was stuck behind an extremely slow truck, carrying a mini-backho (or maybe a bulldozer). Then, as I got to the intersection just left of where I needed to be there was an accident by the side of the road. No decapitations or anything, just a fender bender, and a cop talking to the drivers. No rubber-necking needed, people. I couldn't weasel my way around them either, because there was a cop there. I tried going around the block using a side street, but it turned out to be one of those curvy roads that takes you right back where you started from. I tried taking a short-cut through the McDonald's parking lot but the lots didn't connect.

The lot was littered with signs that said "McDonald's customer parking only." Still, only meters from my destination, I decided I would park there. I pulled into a spot, turned off the engine, opened the door to let my son out, and found that both my children were asleep. Just as well, thought I, with the way the day was going I'm sure Ronald McDonald would tow my car if I parked there.

I looked at my watch to see if it was worth going anymore. My watch said that it was 1 am, on January 1st. "Liar!" I thought and threw it on the floor of the car.

I was going to go home, I was on my way, but instead at the last minute, I went around the block (when I say "block" I mean the block that is half of Burlington) and went to the Early Years after all. I woke the kids up, but they didn't mind (and if they did who cares). I had fun. And my husband made spaghetti when he got home. So it wasn't so bad a day.

Mom's Birthday Buffet

Today is my Mom's birthday so the whole family went to the Red Maple Buffet (which serves chinese food, go figure). Jadzia made a gigantic mess under her chair from "trying" the food a little too enthusiastically, while William enjoyed choosing pork perogies, fish, fruit, and large quantities of jello. I sat across from my good friend Eireann, who is pregnant with my future niece or nephew. She's 14 weeks along, so they are officially telling people (although most of us already knew, we just weren't permitted to broadcast it on the internet).

Favourite foods of the evening: salmon, chicken on a stick, pork perogie-like thing, fried shrimp, ice cream on a waffle.

Disappointing foods: onion rings, nut pie, sticky rice.

I didn't have any wrapping paper but Mom's present (a pedometer) was just small enough to be wrapped in one of Jadzia's diapers (much to my amusement). I always make my own card, and I like to have a subtle hint about the present. This time, I printed a picture of my Mom reading to William and Hunter, with a pic of Jadzia on the back of the card. I tried to get William to give me my hint.

Me: What should we put on this card?
William: A car.
Me: Where should I draw the car?
William: In front of William and Hunter and Omi.
Me (after drawing the car): Now what should we make Omi say? Something about walking?
William: Go on the road!
Omi's speech bubble: Go on the road.
Me: Now what should William say? Something about walking?
William: Right there! Right there! Right there!
Me: I'll write it right there, but what should it say?
William: Right there! Right there! Right there!
William's speech bubble: Right there! Right there! Right there!
Me: What should Hunter say?
William: Something about walking!
Hunter's speech bubble: Something about walking!
Me: What should Jadzia say?
William: Something about crying!

Okay, so the card made no sense, but the process was fun, and the present hint was subtle enough for my liking.

Everyone enjoyed the birthday dinner but, though we had many buffet desserts, we lacked a birthday cake. I did have a fortune cookie though: "Someone is looking up to you. Don't let them down."

The Angry Bear

Today my sweet lovable son was somehow replaced by and angry growling bear. When William has a tantrum he roars, really. First, this morning at the Early Years Centre, William took a toy into circle, which is frowned upon. Rather than sit with his toy boat quietly and covertly, he drove it through the center of the circle, so that all the behaving children could see what he was getting away with. When I took the boat and asked him to sit (unreasonable, I know) he roared and growled, bellowing "I want my boat." I took him aside, calmed him down, but as soon as he got back to the circle, he roared and growled again until we had to go home. On the way his growl switched from "I want my boat" to "I want sit in circle."

Later on, when it was time to change William's diaper, he again did his ferocious bear routine and refused to go. When I finally got his diaper off, I asked him if he would like to pee on the potty. "No!" he screamed, and peed on the floor.

I hoped that he would be in a better mood after his nap. Reasoning that I would have more chance of sanity if we got out of the house, I put both the kids in the stroller and walked to the library. We had to leave before we'd checked out anything because William was throwing books.

After dinner, I was going to give Jadzia a bath because she put food in her hair. I asked William if he wanted to have a bath too and he did. I had to cut the bath short, though, because my son kept splashing water all over the side of the tub, even when I told him repeatedly to stop.

They say that when children misbehave, they're actually communicating. I'm guessing that William's bear routine stems from a combination of his sister getting attention (she's been sick the last two days) and icky rainy weather. I can't do much about either of those things so I'll just have to hope my growling bear, turns back into a teddy bear tommorrow.

The Guessing Game

William and I have been playing a guessing game, where one of us describes an animal, and the other one guesses which animal is being described. A typical round might go like this:

Me: I'm thinking of an animal, that lives at the zoo, has stripes, and goes ROARRRR!
William: I know! A tiger!
Me: That's right!
William: I have a animal. Have hair, and it's a monkey.
Me: Um, is it a monkey?
William: That's right!
Me: I'm thinking of an animal that is very very big. It swims in the ocean and it breathes through a hole in the top of its head.
William: I know! A fish!
Me: Close, it's like a fish, but it's very very big, and has a blowhole.
William: A shark!
Me: A shark is a fish, but this is not a fish. It looks like a fish, but is very big, and has a big tongue just like a whale.
William: A whale!
Me: That's right!

As you can see, playing a guessing game with a two-and-a-half year old is a bit like playing a guessing game with Cookie Monster.

My first book (or perhaps my second)

I found this laying around the crawl space and I thought I should document it before it disintegrates. I wrote this picture book in Grade 3. The construction paper has held up extremely well, considering it's on of the least archival paper known to mankind (particularly in red)

I Hate You. What a great, attention grabbing title, eh? Someone should have told me that yellow marker on red is not the best colour choice for the author's name.

Mrs. Ursel was a great teacher. I had her twice, for grade 3 and again for grade 5. She was also the one whe commissioned this project. Perhaps I should look her up. I wonder if she's on facebook.

Tainpere was my way of spelling "Tapir". The Malayan Tapir was my favourite animal at the zoo at the time (it's still pretty cool).

I don't know why Martha is trying so hard to be Elisabeth's friend. She should have more self respect.

Dono Dolphin may be a better friend than Martha gives her credit. Then again, perhaps Martha is a social outcast that only hangs out with rejects. Considering this is based loosely on my life at the age of nine, I'd say a bit of both going on.

The teacher, magical solver of all problems. I'm sure this is considered "reporting" not "tattling". The character of Miss Monkey is based of course on Mrs. Ursel, who has a wonderful sense of humour.

This turning point is a bit odd because it's the antagonist that makes a character change and we don't see that change happen. That teacher talk must have been something.

Not sure what this scene adds to the plot but I recall Mrs. Ursel found it hilarious. Adding "the Octopus" was an editorial suggestion by Mrs. U, if I remember correctly, I thought it was self-evident.

This part just makes me tear up. Elisabeth isn't so bad. She doesn't have it in her to hate Martha.

Leaving Dono Dolphin and Persie Penguin in the dust.

THE END

Telling Tales

My mother (Sylvia McNicoll author of such hits as Bringing Up Beauty, Walking a Thin Line and Last Chance for Paris) was one of the talented writers presenting at the Telling Tales festival in Westfield Village. The kids missed their nap to watch the show, so I'm not sure how good of an audience we were. William ran around screaming on a fatigue-induced high, but was fairly well-behaved otherwise. Jadzia kept squawking, until I put her on the ground, then tried to escape.

The only other presenter we saw is an illustrator named Ruth Ohi, who I'm a pretty big fan of because she wrote Chicken, Pig and Cow, one of my favourite (er, I mean WILLIAM's favourite) picture books. I meant to buy her new book Chicken, Pig and Cow on the Move, so I could get it autographed, but I got distracted and didn't.

We also took in a puppet show, played with a parachute, did a craft, chatted up some olden days people, and petted some farm animals. The geese were gigantic. One of the sheep was named William.

Laundry and Bravery

It's been one week since we got back from our weekend in the United States, but I only just now opened our suitcase to wash the clothes we wore. Don't make that disgusted face, I've done laundry since then, just not the stuff in the suitcase. In fact, I've been feeling pretty proud of myself for getting so much laundry done, and at the same time confused because none of my favourite shirts were resurfacing. That's when I remembered the suitcase, and the trip. Then I thought, it's probably not too late to blog about it, since the laundry's not done yet.


My father-in-law is a big BMW motorcycle enthusiast, so we all made the trip to Watkins Glen, New York, for the Beemer Rally on Labour Day Weekend. A BMW Rally is like camping, only without the campfire, and with more motorcycles.

The most memorable part of our vacation for me was the day-trip we took to the gorge at Watkins Glen State Park. This basically involved one hour of hiking up a steep stone staircase, beside a gorgeous and terrifying rocky cliff. Now I'm afraid of heights, and that fear is amplified when I'm accompanied by my children. I kept imagining scenarios in which one, or both of my babies fell horribly to their deaths. Each time I thought of this, my eyes watered, and my stomach lurched as if I was falling. My mother-in-law later said that we wouldn't have gone if she'd known I was afraid of heights, but that would have been no fun (it was the most memorable part of our vacation after all).

Besides death and dismemberment, one of my worries is that William will see that I am afraid, and develop a fear of heights himself. So you can imagine my relief, this Saturday, when he gleefully tackled this death-defying leap at the Bronte Creek Playbarn, a drop that made me fearful when I was two or three times his age.

I think his new buzz cut gives him super powers.

Shot at Here

I just remembered a dream I had last night. I was wandering through an old warehouse, or some other industrial building. Everything (walls, floor, doors, stairs) was made of rusted metal, covered in worn orange paint. Some things were labeled, not as what they were, but to narrate events that had happened there. For example, "shot at here" was printed on one wall with arrows indicating some bullet holes. I vaguely remember that I went through a door, across the hall with the bullet holes, down some stairs, maybe through another door into a very very large room. As I was making my way back the way I came, I heard the clang of footsteps on the metal. I hurried, but the sound became closer. "Don't shoot me!" I yelled. I got outside and ran toward the car I had apparently come in, a red Toyota, my mother's car. I managed to get inside the car and lock it when the dream ended.

Apple Farm

Went to Chudleigh's Farm in Milton today to pick apples. For more details, check out William's video blog entry.