Kids are cute.

This past Saturday my beautiful niece turned one, and a celebration was held in her honour.  These sorts of family gatherings are a collage of special moments.  Here are some of my favourite shots from the event:

Both my Dad and my husband insisted they were "smiling" in this shot.  So why does Jadzia have to frown to blend in?

If she looks guilty it's because this is the forth cupcake that Jadzia has licked the icing off and then left.

My brother is such an adorable Daddy.

"You're funny, William!"  Violet says it all with a point.

In addition to consuming yummy dinner, snacks, and cake, I also managed to capture the next "Star Wars Kid" video.  Sure to go viral!

Educational Opportunities with Gore

After this morning's ketchup incident I decided it was time to get out of the house, so my offspring and I took a walk to the library.  On the way home, two large crows blocked our path.  The birds were so enormous, in fact, that William first identified them as "a dog or a cat".  It looked as though they were enjoying some kind of snack, but at a distance I couldn't tell what it was.  Since we were by a school, I thought it might be someone's recess snack.

The crows flew away as we approached and I realized that the snack was something a little more gruesome.  It was some sort of rodent; a rat, I think, more specifically half a rat.  The hind legs and tail were basically intact, though not much else was.  Intestines were strewn about the the side walk, some bunched up, some stretched out, culminating in an unidentifiable organ that I guess must have been the animal's stomach. 

My immediate instinct was to usher the kids along, but it was too late.  William had seen it and he was fascinated.  We've talked before about how food goes from our stomachs to our intestines before turning into poop, so it was quite the educational opportunity to have that concept illustrated so graphically across the concrete.

"I thought the birds were eating something but they just killed a mouse," said William.
"The mouse was probably already dead," I explained. "Those birds eat dead animals that they find."
"So how did it die?"
"I don't know," said I, racking my brain for a non-scary method of death.  "Maybe a cat killed it.  Or maybe it died of old age."
"Or maybe it was from the olden days and then it died," William added.
"Well, mice and rats don't live that long, only a year or two."
"It was from the olden days, that's probably what happened."
"Probably," I agreed.

The topic was revisited later on in the walk, and we began discussing the animals that humans eat for food.  William already knew that pork came from pigs and beef came from cows.  Now that he'd actually seen an animal being eaten, though, he grasped the concept at a whole new level.  His face held a look of horrid fascination.

Ketchup

On the train table.

In the drawer of of the train trable.

Covering Jadzia's block puzzle.

All over Jadzia and William.

My two-year old can now reach the fridge. Yippee!

Getting My To-Do List Done (Hey, it's exciting to me!)

So I told myself I would blog every day, or at least every other day, except maybe not on the weekend...... Anyway now it's been three days and nothing from me.  Don't worry, I'm okay (although my snowman has melted).

I have been keeping up with my writing goal of 500 (or more) words a day, which is good because I'm on book #2.   This one is set on an alien planet with a matriarchal society.  The lizard-like people have three genders: women , nursemen (who raise the children), and nestmen (who cook, clean, and protect the family).   Also, through the magic of made-up genetics, the story features a human hybrid.  The characters all have to overcome rigid and conflicting gender roles to find their places in society.  It should be a pretty good read once I'm all done.

I got my first rejection from an agent this week.  I'm going to go ahead and call that a good thing too.  She got back to me much faster that I expected and besides, only real writers get rejections. 

Today I also:
Filled and emptied the dishwasher.
Put away some laundry.
Read a lecture for my Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviours course.
Had a Skype meeting with some of my writer friends who are taking the course too.
Sent another query.
Exchanged a recently purchased copy of "UP" at FutureShop (the blu-ray disc was missing).
Bought a few necessities (bread, milk, snacks) at the grocery store.
Cashed some cheques at the bank.
Made some delicious oatmeal, raison, chocolate chip muffins.

BTW:  Nothing to do with anything, but if you haven't seen it yet, the video below is pretty great.  About halfway through I realized the guy is actually singing, not lip-syncing, which makes it all the more awesome.

Snow Man Snow!

My one regret about winter was that there was never any snowman snow.  It was either too cold for the powdery stuff to stick together, or so warm that everything melted and it started to rain.  Well this afternoon I looked out the window and saw the sunshine and the snow, and I thought: could it be?  I opened the side door and grabbed a handful to test.  The snow packed together perfectly in my hands. Huzzah!

So on this beautiful "spring" day, my children and I got all dressed up in our winter duds and headed into the front yard  where we built a snowman.  By "we" I of course mean me and by "snowman" I mean snow toddler, since my creation was about the same height as Jadzia.  Here's a pic that William took to commemorate the occassion:

Snow?

Yesterday was borderline no-jacket weather, so this morning when I opened the blinds an saw everything covered with the fluffy white stuff, I had the same wtf response as I'm sure everyone else did.  I just bought a bike, for Spock's sake.  I've always secretly believed that I could control the weather by preparing myself for the opposite.  Like, when I get around to purchasing hats and mitts, I'm pretty much guaranteed an unseasonably warm winter.  I buy a bike and of course it snows.  I think I'm going to go out and get a raincoat and galoshes.

Not to say I didn't see this as an opportunity.  I immediately wrote "tobogganning" on my to-do list and went with the kids right after breakfast.

I only went down the hill three times.  Once, all by myself because neither of my offspring wanted to go.  Instead, they attempted to navigate the slippery playground equipment wearing snowpants and boots. Eventually William fell and got snow all inside his jacket.  After that he was too cold and we had to go home. But not before Jadzia had herself a wee snack.

New Furnace Day!!!!

If a picture is worth a thousand words then a video is probably worth a million.  So here's the longest blog entry I've ever done.

Here's a video blog I recorded with the kids as the furnace gang was finishing up the install:

And here are some before and during shots:



And here's a tour of my house now that I filmed featuring my new furnace and air conditioning system:

So there you have it.  Two million three thousand and eighty-two words, including this sentence.

Best Backyardigans Episode Ever

It's about time this catchy musical children's show did a Star Trek spoof.  In this episode, Tasha, Austin and Uniqua are intergallactive garbage collectors flying around in an Enterprise-like ship made of  two trash cans and a trashlid.  On the way, they battle "Moosicans", basically Klingons with Moose antlers (played by Pablo and Tyrone).  If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a taste:

I think I might make that song my new theme music.  And here's a diddy from the Moosicans:

See what I mean?  This show is made of awesome.

New bike!

I have hereby thwarted criminal attempts to keep me off the sidewalks by purchasing a gorgeous 7-speed berry-coloured bicycle.  The kids rode trikes around the store while I chose.  It had to be pretty, yet strong enough to pull a giant stroller. I even got some pink and white tassles for extra girliness.

We had lunch at the Mandarin across the parking lot from the bike store, then it was time for my bike's maiden voyage (because the thing wasn't going to fit in a car full of kids).  Anyway the ride was fabulous, smooth and easy to pedal.  Brant Street is still a killer, but even though I haven't biked since November, I barely broke a sweat.  (Though that could be because it's still a little cold out).  Thank goodness I had a buffet lunch to give me energy!

Keep my hand-me-down teal bike, Hooligans!  If you want this one, you will have to brave the obstacle course that is my backyard.  I will not leave it out front. At least, not right away.



No Snakes in Ireland; No Phone at Jen's House

It all started yesterday when I called Chapters. We left a toy there and I wanted to see if they had found it. Only they couldn't hear me. "What? You want a monster truck book?" Several calls to several different people revealed that either a) I had turned into a robot, or b) there was something wrong with my connection.

Then the internet started acting buggy. Pages were slow to upload, then stopped loading all together. Skype was impossible. The only thing that seemed to work was texting, so I spent the better part of yesterday and today troubleshooting the problem with my overworked husband. By "troubleshooting" I mean I complained relentlessly while he answered with the occassional "OK".

I don't make a great many calls during the day, but knowing I couldn't sent me into a frenzy. Just as I was thinking "What if something happened? I can't call 911!" William ran into the room with his face covered in blood.  It was only a cut lip, and as usual my son refused all forms of first aid.  He also claimed he "didn't know" what happened.  Jadzia also has a small cut on her chin.  I've tried to puzzle out in my head what event could've caused both injuries without success.  Things happen when kids don't have computer games to play.

Adam has been working late the last couple days, so I've skipped my usual elaborate dinner meals in favor of quick snacks that the kids actually eat.  Yesterday I made Zoodles and today I made "pizza" (which in this context means ketchup and melted cheese on a tortilla).  Adam called Cogeco on his cellphone when he got home yesterday at ten pm.  They are sending a technician tomorrow between 8:30 am and 5 pm.  They call this an appointment, but everyone else knows that appointment times are more specific.  Listing ones office hours is not the same thing as scheduling an appointment.

Today I fiddled with wires until I managed to get my internet running, but the phone wouldn't even pretend to work for most of the day.  Then as I was grating cheese onto a ketchuppy tortilla, the phone startled me by ringing.  It was a robot from Cogeco confirming our "appointment".  Now Adam gave Cogeco his cell phone number, clearly telling the service rep that our phone DOES NOT WORK, and yet the robot called the home phone.  Luckily, I didn't have to say anything to respond to the automated message, I just pressed 1.  Humans still can't understand me, but robots don't seem to have any trouble.

Cogeco loves to brag about its awards for customer service.  I'm thinking they must have bribed the judges with free cable.  I'm not going to hold my breath on the technician either (and not just because I can't hold my breath for eight and a half hours). Once when I didn't answer the buzzer quick enough, they left us without phone and internet for a month.

Now the kids are in bed and my husband is still not home and chatting at friends on the phone is impossible.  I wish I was out celebrating the lack of snakes in Ireland.

For the Love of Sugar

Today my friend Cara and I enjoyed the maple syrup festival at Bronte Creek.  We ate maple sugar candies, maple toffee and pancakes with maple syrup.  In case that wasn't enough sugar, William drank the leftover maple syrup.  Yum!

William's favourite part of the day was the tractor ride to and from the pancake house.  That, and playing with his friend Leyla, who he's still excited to hang out with even after all these years. Jadzia enjoyed climbing the bleachers and wandering as far as she could away from the grown-ups.  Also the pigs.

Below is a shot of William hanging the sap bucket during the educational portion of the trip. Leyla drilled the hole; they make an excellent team.

William does Magic

Today was camp day at Ikea.  My friend Columbia and I enjoyed a magic show, free lunch, and face painting.  The kids had fun too!

Both William and his friend Zoe, got to be assistants for the magician.  Zoe helped with a card trick and William did this:

Afterwards, William tried to replicate the trick by squishing a tiny stuffed animal in his fist.  When it didn't work, he concluded that the trick had to be done with "magic things."

If you're curious what the kids' facepaint is supposed to represent, William is obviously Spiderman, Zoe is a rainbow kitty, and Jadzia is a duck.  The last one was my fault.  I suggested several animals to her, but once she heard "duck" she was stuck on it.  The clown who did the make-up said it was the first duck she had ever done.  Jadzia was delighted to quack quack around the store, almost making up for the fact that she is too young for the Ikea ballroom.

When we go to Ikea, we spend a ridiculously long time.  The food is cheap and the kids are entertained, so the only real reason to leave is that it's time to go home and make dinner.

William is a Heavy Sleeper

At first we tried to discourage Jadzia from climbing on and playing with her unconscious brother, but it soon became clear that he wasn't waking up for anything.

I managed to catch this on video before my card ran out of memory:

  Reminds me of this video from last year:



"Just do a summary of the day"

My husband has decided that I should do a blog post every day like Natalie and I have been neglecting my blog of late, so I'm going to try.  So my to-do list will now include:

editing my book
querying that book to agents and/or publishers
outlining the next book
looking after the offspring
doing some minor household chores (only enough to ensure that everyone is fed and clothed)
and...wait for it...writing a blog post every day

So a summary of the day:

First the furnace guy (whose name is Terry) came over and crunched some numbers and got us to sign stuff.  Highly exciting.

Next we decided to see a movie with the kids.  Rango was out, and it isn't every day that there's a flick appropriate for the kids is in theatres.  Not that I'd say that Rango was completely appropriate, but they weren't bored.  You've probably seen the preview, Johnny Depp is a chameleon who winds up in the desert in a western town populated by various desert creatures, lots of gun fighting and stuff you'd expect from a western along with some stuff you'd never expect like a lizard with breasts and hair.  It was a good movie, with spectacularly detailed animation.  William says his favourite part was "all the guns."  My favourite part was the rattlesnake who had a gun built into his tail.

I lost the battle for popcorn soon after we arrived at the theatre, we had just had lunch and I thought snacks weren't necessary, but it became immediately obvious that both kids were going to freak out otherwise.  William also whined that the movie wasn't 3D. Who are these spoiled children?

Anyway, when we got home Morty the Jackapoo went crazy as usual and I felt sort of guilty that I hadn't walked him for a few days.  William screamed halfway to the park.  First because he didn't want to go and then because I wouldn't put his mittens on him (he fought me when I tried).  I can never get him to do any anger-coping deep-breathing techniques they teach us at the Early Years, but they help me all right.  When we finally got to the playground, both kids had fun playing on the swings and stomping around in the icy muck.  Although poor Jadzia fell in the frigid water at least three times.  Finally her pants were so soaked we had to go home.

Then Adam organized the crawlspace in preparation for the upcoming furnacing, while I made a dinner consisting of shrimp, green beans, and leftover spaghetti.  The kids went to bed early, it being daylight savings time and all, and I read the end of the book I was reading, Boneshaker by Cherie Priest, which I'm going to go ahead and recommend.  It's a steam punk, which I'm normally not that into, but it has strong characters, particularly female characters, and it has zombies (but not cheesey zombies) and is generally a fun read.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have just enough time before bed to watch an episode or two of the Big Bang Theory.

The Great Furnace Search

When we moved in 3 years ago, I noticed a service sticker on the large metal box in the basement which was dated 1978.  It still works, but I have to assume that there have been some advances in heating and cooling since Trudeau was prime minister.  For this and other reasons too boring to get into, Adam and I have decided to upgrade our furnace and air conditioner.

So anyway, we had four companies come in to do an estimate.  That means four different people came into our home, looked at our furnace, pitched, told us that we had to act quickly to take advantage of government rebates, and left.  Noone seemed excessively slimey, or gave us wildly exorbitant prices.

I started to write a more detailed account of each visit, but the result was too tedious for words.  I sucked too much of our time on this endeavour, and I don't want to waste yours.   One would say that their products were the best, and another would say that all furnaces are the same and it's the installation that matters.  One would talk more about warranties and another would blather on about how long they'd been in business. 

In the end it was between two companies that we got a good feeling about (but who really knows). Anyway, they seemed like upstanding citizens and they both sold furnaces with fancy controls.  So we got them in and forced them to fight to the death.  It was hard work setting up the arena in the back yard, what with all the snow and mud.  Also finding a company that sells lirpas wasn't easy, but with such a big purchase we felt it was important to do our due diligence. One of the furnace salesmen injected himself with a trioxide compound to fake his own death.  I don't know why he did that, but it was good for us because nobody really died and there was no need to explain to the cops why there was corpse with a lirpa sticking out of his chest in our backyard. 

Anyway, the victor is coming in at 9 am tomorrow to begin the furnacing process.

Snow!!!!!!

This is an all points bulletin!  Get out and enjoy the snow while you still can!  For that past few weeks, the marshmellow blanket of happiness disappeared to be replaced by a mucky icy mess.  But today winter has returned for a limited time only.  Seize the day, everyone!

Imagine my glee, when I woke this morning to find a thick layer of snow all over everything.  We wasted no time (well, we wasted a little time, we still have two kids) in getting all bundled and off to the tobogganing hill.  We over filled our sled, two adults and two children riding together.  Even Morty the Jackapoo got a chance to slide, though he mostly just chased us to the bottom. 

Jadzia gets the prize for eating the most snow.  And why not?  Freshly fallen and purely white, even I had to admit it looked appetizing (though I managed to resist the urge).

At home we enjoyed some hot chocolate made with real cocoa and milk (hot chocolate made with water is a crime against chocolate).

If you are looking for something to do today, do NOT go to an indoor playground, do NOT go shopping, do NOT go to church, and do NOT go to the library.  GO OUTSIDE.  The mucky muck will be back before you know it.

Brownies = Happiness

I have a friend who is a health nut.  She bakes muffins and brownies with little to no sugar and instead packs them full of things like chia seeds, hemp hearts, and spinach.  She loves "super foods" and is ruthless about packing as much nutrition in her diet as possible.   

This morning I was feeling less than super happy and needed some time to myself.  So I locked myself in my bedroom while my children screamed and the dog barked at the door.  I chatted on the phone, and cheered up a little, but found the ambient noise too distracting to fully relax.

I needed to get out of my rut.  So I opened the door and suggest to my offspring that we make brownies.  I thought of my health-nut friend as I handed the ingredients to my two helpers to bring to the table.  I opted for white flour instead of whole wheat, I used all my sugar and all my eggs.  Jadzia helped me crack the eggs.  William poured in ingredients and used the mixer.  They cleaned the bowl with their hands and tongues.

Now I know that baked goods are not a healthy way to get rid of a bad mood.  But I feel better, and I haven't even had a single brownie yet.  I can smell them now and I can hardly wait!

I've been a shut-in the last little while

a) I didn't have a car because my hubby's car had a broken wheel or something and making money is apparently more important than going on outtings with the kids and doing my own grocery shopping.
b) I was waiting for the good snow to come back so I could go tobogganing or build a snowman.  Or whatever.

The snow hasn't returned and has instead transformed into various piles of slush, and sheets of ice, and pits of mud.  Still the sun, and my furry houseguest (my parents' jackapoo Morty), motivated me to go outside this afternoon. 

It was too warm for snowpants, but the kids wore all their other winter paraphernalia.  Although Jadzia opted to wear William's old alligator galoshes instead of her pink winter boots.  When we arrived at the park near our house, we discovered that the playground structure was now standing in an iced-over muddy sink hole.  This did not stop my children from climbing and sliding.  Jadzia can now navigate that curved ladder without much hesitation. William was delighted at his new super power of breaking ice, and splashing in the frigid water. Of course I had to join in, just to show him that I was better at it, because I'm bigger.  

After pushing my offspring on the swings (William is too big for the baby swings *tear*) for a tediously long time, I suggested we explore the forest near the park.  Favourite quote of the day from William: "That's not a forest, it's just a bunch of trees."  Okay, so it's not algonquin park, not even enough cover for teenagers to smoke pot without getting caught, but I didn't expect my son to become so jaded so soon.  When we were in the trees, though, he decided that it was a forest after all.  He found a long stick and sword-fought the bushes in a distinctly boyish way, while Jadzia examined the different consistancies of mud.  We found squirrel tracks.  I lured them out of the mini-forest with the promise of a snack.

I did have a car today, but I didn't end up going anywhere until after my hubby came home and we went out for dinner to celebrate a friend's birthday (Happy Birthday Mark!).  On the way, the wheel made a funny noise.  It sounded like a drunken Nascar car and was so loud that we actually pulled over, but ultimately ignored until after dinner.  Now it's my car's turn for the shop.  Oh reliable transportation, if only I'd appreciated you when you were here.

Jadzia's New 'Do

Before:

During:

After:



Fun times at Ikea

I found my Twister game.

Yesterday I was having dinner at a friend's house and we were thinking how fun it would be to challenge each other to a game of Twister.  Well, today I found my old Twister mat, along with the warped cardboard spinner very biased to the left hand.  Luckily I  also have this old Flash program I made to spin for us.  Next time somebody challenges me to Twister, I'll be ready!

I also have a video  (which I may post later) Adam took of the kids and I playing (very challenging when you're too short to reach the dots and don't know your left from your right, or the rules, or your colours).

Now I just have to find the painting I did in university of people playing Twister naked.

Happy Valentine's Day

Or as it's known at our house, the day before William's birthday.  Yesterday we had family and friends over to celebrate his big day.  The kids and I made the cake the day before, green with hotwheels driving around a chocolate road.  His friends have had bowling birthdays, indoor playground birthdays, museum birthdays, magician birthdays, but when I asked him what he wanted to do, he said "I want to run around with all my friends and play hotwheels and jump on my bed."  So that's what we planned.

And it was a blast, a house full of people we love snacking and gabbing together.  Mobs of children gathered around, not happy to simply observe the opening of presents.  One racetrack delighted them all so much that they nearly came to blows. No indoor play place would have been better.

Tommorrow my little boy turns 4.  He's already so grown up that I couldn't really think of him as 3.  He's smart, kind, gentle, funny.  He's a loving brother and a wonderful son.  He owns a ridiculous amount of hotwheels tracks.

Happy Birthday William!

So Grown Up

Today I registered my son for junior kindergarten.  The whole process took about an hour and involved gathering together some random forms and identification, dressing everyone in snow pants, walking through the snow at the pace of bundled two-year-old, and filling out a small stack of forms while my children ate crackers and grapes (with a brief break to visit the staff washroom). While we were snacking and form-filling, nutrition break started and my nephew Hunter greeted us in the hall.  The kids got hugs.  I got a "Hi Auntie Jen" and a "Bye Auntie Jen." 

I was all excited about William's passage into manhood, so I got William to tell my husband where we went.  His interpretation: "My Mom just wrote and we ate crackers."  Okay, maybe he'll be more excited when we go to meet his teacher.

Since this is a post about William, I must mention what a wonderful boy he is.  Yesterday we went to one of those indoor play places with his friends.  He helped his sister up and down the equipment, taking her by the hand and gently leading her.  He helped his friend who is a little more timid than he is (William is fearless).  Sometimes he went and got her Mom, sometimes he would help her himself and then tell her Mom: "That's okay, we don't need you now."  I was so proud that he acted so grown-up, so kind, so gentle, so brave. 

He's going to rule Junior Kindergarten!

Jadzia sleeps in a big girl bed. Night 1.

Adam has plans to build Jadzia a canopy princess bed to compete with William's car bed.  In the mean-time my parents had a comfy mattress and box spring they wanted to get rid of.  It's the same bed I slept on as a teenager and it's very, very comfy.  Adam is going to modify his bed design to accomadate the mattress, which is a double, not a single like William's, and takes up 80% of her bedroom.

Yesterday was a day of birthday partying, no napping, and temper tantrums, so I decided to put her to bed early.  So just after dinner I managed to get the tantruming sesame street addict to brush her teeth, then I took her to her room to read her stories.  When I said "story" she ran out of her bedroom towards the basement and freaked out when I brought her back.  She thought I meant "Toy Story" and screamed "Toy Story Three Buzz!"

I calmed her down and got back to the business of reading stories.  Normally I read two or three stories and then put her in her crib.  This time, Jadzia was boss, jumping out of bed to pick another book sometimes when I was in the middle of reading one.  I read almost every book in her book bin, and read several of them twice. 

By the end, I was reading each book EXTRA SLOWLY, like a robot running out of batteries, and she was sucking her thumb and jumping out of bed less often.  When she looked dozey enough, I shut the light and started singing "Hush little baby", just like I do every night.

I sang it lying down.
I sang it standing up.
I sang it while sitting on the floor.

Jadzia kept almost sort of pretending to sleep, then waking up grinning at me.  Finally, two hours after I began the process, she fell asleep sideways on the bed, which still left enough space for me to lie beside her.  It's a big bed for a little girl.

She slept all night, all the way to nine.  Her brother woke up at 5 am because he "needed" someone to sleep with him.

Creative Arts Awards

Well I'm back from the Creative Burlington First Annual Arts Appreciation Awards.  Apparently the even will be shown on Cogeco Cable at some time in the future, so those of you who couldn't afford the $65 to attend can curl up on the couch and watch the event. Alas, the "light fare" has all been eaten, so no deep fried scallops, peppers, or spring rolls for you (unless you cook your own to make your viewing experience more authentic).

If an evening of community television isn't your style, you could skip ahead to the most important part of the night, the literary arts award. Watch the video below (ahem, technical difficulties have prevented me from posting the video below just yet)

My clip is at about 4:56.


Congratulations to my Mom, Sylvia McNicoll, for winning the award.  The most diserving person definitely won.  Mom is a highly accomplished author with twenty-eight or more books published.  I am an über-procrastinator with zero books published.  The third finalist, Bobbie, is a very friendly woman who smiles a lot.

Highlights:

Mom and I cornered the mayor at the reception and chatted at him.  It's not every day you get to make awkward small talk with the leader of your city. 

All the finalists, myself included, got certificates.  This is because there really are no winners and losers and even the non-awards-recipients should get something. Mine is going in my rah-rah for me binder.

I was totally embarrassed to see my video interview.  Even when other interviews were being shown, I was mortified because I knew I was next.  Everyone said I did okay though.  (You can judge for yourself when I get that gosh darn video posted).

We arranged for all the literary artists to sit at the same table.  Bobbie brought some of her friends who all seemed nice, one of them even had pinky red hair.  It was fun to have a literary table.  And even though Bobbie and I didn't receive the award, we got to touch it because we were sitting with my Mom.  We all agreed that it should say "Literary Artist of the Year" on it, instead of ricipient of whatever.

Thank you to Natalie for watching the kids and putting them to bed.  Love you babe.

Cuteasaurus Rex

Interviewing for my Oscar Moment

For those of you who are wondering, I still don't know who won Creative Burlington's illustrious award for literary artist of the year.  I'll find out on February 3rd.  In the meantime, they video interviewed me.  The idea is for them to have a nifty video for each of the finalists so they can be introduced Oscar-style at the fancy awards night. 

So a few days before my interview, I got a tickle in my throat.  Then William got sick too and spent three days on the couch watching tv and refusing to eat anything (he also vomited each day at precisely 6 o'clock).  It's my own fault really.  When a friend of mine (hi Natalie) came to my door and told me her kids were all snotty but could she please bring them in to play anyway, I totally let her come in and spread her germies.  Well I learned my lesson!

Anyway, yesterday I went with my Mom to the Creative Burlington office (a tiny building on Lakeshore) to have our interviews taped.  By this time I had a phlegmy cough, froggy voice, and was feeling slightly nauseous.  The lady who greeted me asked if I was "one of them or just along for the ride."  I thought to myself, if I she doesn't know me, I must not be the winner.  I should have said something witty and clever, but instead I whined "I'm one of them" like a grade-school student being forced to play dodgeball.

My Mom went first.  I watched her being filmed and she answered all the questions and looked and sounded very professional.  Next it was my turn.  My Mom left so I wouldn't be nervous. Sitting in the chair was way different than watching my Mom sit in the chair.  All the lights were on me, and each light was as bright as the sun.  I squinted for a few minutes then one of the video people "Sarah" gave me a mic to put on.  I had to feed a wire up under my shirt, and snap a battery pack to my butt.

I won't repeat the questions and answers because I'm sure you're all going to spend $65 to see the awards show and will see the finished video then. I will say that I managed to get through it all without coughing.  Huzzah! At the end of the interview I read some of my work, so they could splice that in too. We were told to prepare a minute of work, which is not quite a page of text. When you're writing a novel, even one as short as mine, one page is nothing.  But I chose a scene that would knock your socks off.  I hope the end product isn't too embarrassing.

I'm always sick when I have to be on camera.  I had a cold when I did this thing too, but everyone said I was fabulous anyway.

Anyway, I already won something: an Arts Matter T-shirt.

Winter wonderland

This morning I awoke to a fresh heap of powder all over everything.  Now I try to get up at seven every morning and do a little outdoor exercise, usually walking since my bike was stolen and winter arrived.  But today I decided to be extra productive and shovel the driveway.

Most of the time we just leave the driveway as is and drive our SUVs over whatever hardened mountains of ice result.  A couple of years ago the mail man refused to deliver our mail because our driveway was too treacherous.  Through rain, snow, sleet or hail my butt!  Anyway, me shoveling is such an event that my husband snapped some paparazzi-style photos of me to commemorate the occassion.

Check out my giant he-man shovel!

Anyway, being outside in the snow reminded me that playing in the snow is a part of childhood that we've been doing far too little of this season.  So I put "play in the snow with kids" on my to-do list and after breakfast I got them ready.

William, Jadzia and I had a great time frollicking in the mounds of powder my shoveling created.  Well, William and I had fun anyway.  Jadzia, who can barely stand in her boots and snowpants let alone walk, mostly just sat in the snow and glared and me.

The white stuff was too powdery for a snowman, or even a snow ball fight (though we did try).  Instead I dragged the children in a toboggan to the nearby school (which has a wicked hill, tame enough for my kids but not so slow the adult gets bored).  Jadzia giggled the first time down the hill but shortly after began to get weepy.  I convinced William to go home by promising hot chocolate and declared our winter outting a success.

Except I ran out of milk and had to make the hot chocolates partially with water, blech.  Luckily they had just enough milk in them to be tolerable.

Dancing Washing Machines and Productivity

So my Mom took William out tobogganing with my nephew, and Jadzia napped (still is napping), so I had some time to myself.  I had high hopes of being extra productive, but I only had enough time to put in a load of laundry before they came home.  And I'm not one of those people who separates her lights and darks either.  If it all turns out grey, so be it.  Life is too short.

Turns out I forgot that William's comforter was in the washing machine, with puke on it from his bout of illness on Saturday night.  I stuffed an entire load of laundry on top of that, just squished it in over capacity.  Last time I tried this the load was so unbalanced that my washer had its own private dance party.   It's not doing that now, but it might start to boogie down at the spin cycle.  I'm wearing one of my summer shirts today, the one that looks nice the moment I put it on, then starts riding up and showing my stretch-marked belly.  Hence, laundry needed to be done.

I already finished my 500 words today, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself.  I'm a writer, not a housewife after all. 

Spin cycle!  I can hear the dance party starting now.

500 words a day

So I've been trying to be more productive with writing.  I'm committed to making a career out of being a science fiction author.  The book I'm working on now I wrote a first draft of when I was about nineteen, the one I plan on finishing next I began shortly afterwards.  I did the math, at 500 words a day, I can write 50 000 words (about the length of my novel) in 4 months.  Why has it taken me over a decade?

Oh I did some other stuff in between, finished university, got married, had two kids.  I also logged a lot of hours of Tetris, Wii, Farmville, Farm Frenzy, and whatever else happened to be my game of the week.  Occasionally I did slightly more productive things.  I painted, I made flash cartoons, I blogged, I wrote for Today's Parent Toronto (thank you, mom).  For a while I wanted to work for a magazine, but ideas for articles don't come to me the way ideas for science fiction stories do.  I sent one query, which I wrote in magazine writing class.  It was kindly rejected.

I now have real excuses.  Adorable excuses named William and Jadzia, who demand my attention before I can complete a sentence.  As I was writing this post, William came to me crying because he had somehow put a chair on his toe.  Jadzia is sitting on my lap right now colouring.  There are pen marks all over her arms and mine.  I no longer have long stretches of uninterrupted time to myself.  I squandered those in my youth. I think my mother tried to warn me.  She has 28 books published.  I'd be happy with one or two.

I'm more committed now than I have ever been.  My book will be done by February 4th.  It's good enough to be published and I won't give up until it is.  And I won't stop writing, I will finish this book and the next and the next.  I will outline and plan.  I will sell.  I will be so ambitious and obnoxious that you won't recognize me.  I am talented.  I'm no longer going to sheepishly pretend that I'm not.  I'm no longer going to be so afraid of success that I won't even try.

BTW: To my friends and family: after February 4th, be on my case.  I recognize that selling the book will be the hard part, and I'll need lots of encouragement to stay on track.  Thanks.

New Year's FAQs

I'd like to take this opportunity to answer some frequently asked questions about my Super Happy New Year's.  At least, I think these questions would be frequently asked if I were one of those popular bloggers who got e-mails with questions from time to time.  If you have any other questions that you frequently ask in your head, please comment below.  I will do my best to answer each one individually (but you know, I'm so swamped with comments I may not be able to.

Question #1:  How did you celebrate your New Year's?

Our New Year's usually involves sitting around with my husband possibly watching the ball drop on Global (because for some odd reason we don't get Citytv).  This year (or rather, last year) I decided to have a party instead.  I invited all my Mommy friends and their families, some of whom showed up.  The goal was to relive my party days, when New Year's Eve meant drinking with friends.  And we succeeded, sort of. The last guest left at 11 pm, because over-tired children tend to be less well behaved than well-rested children.  Who knew?  Anyway, William did make it to midnight (he saved his meltdowns for the next day).  We watched the ball drop in Niagara Falls (on Global).  The Barenaked Ladies sang Auld Lang Syne.  Also everyone brought snacks, so we had our New Year's Day breakfast and lunch covered.  Thanks guys.

Question #2:  Have you made any New Year's resolutions?

I actually make resolutions throughout the year, so New Year's isn't special to me in that way.  Normally my resolutions involve writing more and playing computer and video games less.  This is tough because I got Mario Galaxy 2 in my stocking. Also there's literally an infinite amount of online games I can access using the same tool I use to write.  It's like storing your heroine in the same drawer as the stuff that helps you not take heroine (I have no idea what that stuff might be, since I've never been a drug addict, so that analogy didn't work as well as I thought it would).  But I do have ammunition.  This year, my writing group friends and I are taking an online course called Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviours (aka how not to procrastinate 101).  The first lecture had, among other things, some stuff about how sleep is good.  So at 12:30 am I was sitting at my desk, reading about how sleep will help you loose weight, be more productive, etc.  Now I'm trying to go to bed at 11 pm and get up at 7am.  That's been going okay.  I'm still playing lots of games, but I'm sure the second lecture will help me out with that once I get around to reading it.

Question #3: What is your favourite Star Trek movie?

Ever since I was a kid, my favourite Star Trek movie has always been Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.  In it, Captain Kirk and his friends have to go back in time to get some humpback whales (they are extinct in the 23rd century).  The result is a ridiculous 80s comedy in which Spock jumps into a tank in a cetacean museum to mind-meld with a whale. Gold! The moral of course is that we should save the whales, because you never know when they are going to stop an alien probe from destroying the planet.  Okay, nobody has asked me this question, but Adam recently bought Star Trek IV on blu-ray for only $7.00!!!!  Score!

Edit:

Question #3 (From an anonymous comment below): If you found yourself on the sinking Titanic, what would be your Survival strategy?

I probably got to the Titanic using some kind of time machine, in which case I would prepare myself before the trip by appearing to be insanely wealthy.  That way I would be let on the life boats with the first class passengers.  If I had no preparation (ie: I fell through a random time portal, on the way to the grocery store) I would dazzle the captain with whatever futuristic technology I had on me (iPod, digital watch, disposible diaper, etc) so he would believe that I am from the future/an alien and do whatever I say.  Then I would have him turn the ship away from the icebergs and sail safely to a tropical island.  Failing that, I would find a giant piece of floating debris and hang out on it until help arrives.

Question #4 : If you could be the leader of a religion who would you be?


As an atheist, I really have no desire to be the leader of a religion, but if I had to choose one I would have to go with the Pope.  He's got power.  He's got cool hats.  He's got a bulletproof limo (such faith!).  I'd have to be a man, though, which is annoying because I enjoy my breasts and vagina.

William's Hotwheels Track

Two blogs in one day? Consider this a bonus, an epilogue if you will. Some moments are meant to be shared.

Christmas Moments

Jadzia loved the underwear she got from my parents.  Sure she had toys to play with, but who needs them when you can sort and stack your big girl briefs and fill and empty a little gift bag over and over.

There's nothing quite like watching babies opening presents.  Violet's intense expression while tearing the wrapping was priceless. The presents inside the paper weren't nearly as fascinating.

William got a hotwheels track made for colour-change cars which involves a skull head with sponge brain, a little squirt gun to spray the cars, and several vats of water for the cars to fall in/ drive through.  He literally played with it all night. My Mom's table was so soaked that a small waterfall was gushing off the tablecloth onto the floor.

I should mention my Mom's Christmas log.  I look forward to this chocolately monstrousity all year and it never disappoints.  She also makes sticky toffee pudding, which is well received, but I find the caramel just gets in the way of the true meaning of Christmas: chocolate!  This year, my mom had eight Lindor bunnies to be Santa's reindeer.  Unfortunately, Jadzia snuck into the kitchen and quietly ate them all before they could decorate anything.

At 8 o'clock Christmas eve, Future Shop and Best Buy officially begin their Boxing Day sales and the whole family gathered around Dad's laptop to watch him attempt to buy an e-reader.  Eventually Jadzia convinced him to watch Elmo videos instead.  They also watched the video of Jadzia doing knock-knock jokes.

At the end of the night, William desperately wanted to have a bath to try out his new hotwheels bath toy.  He had a gigantic freak out when we told him it was too late (it was ten o'clock).   Luckily, it was Adam's turn to but him to bed.  According to Adam, William crashed immediately after his good night hug.


Jadzia's favourite toys Christmas morning were the Pez dispensers from the stockings.  Jessie for Jadzia, Buzz Lightyear for William, and Snow White for me.  Jadzia ate the two packages of Pez that came with hers and then ate half of mine.

There was a Christmas present under the tree for Adam that I did not purchase.  Proof of the existence of Santa Claus?  Anyway Adam took his giant remote control big wheel truck out in the snow with William to try it out.  They said it worked great, but the batteries didn't last long in the cold.

The whole family enjoyed playing with William's new lego set.  While Adam and I searched through the big bucket of parts to find tiny, highly specialized, pieces to build a fire truck and police station, the kids mostly enjoyed the sound of the pieces in the box.  Jadzia fished out a dozen tiny translucent coloured circles and carried them around the house.

Moments after I got Jadzia dressed to go to my in-laws, she got into Adam's Toblerone bar.  She walked up to Adam, hands covered in chocolate, her tiny little bite-marks all over the large chunk in her hand.
Adam:  "What the...."
Jadzia: "Chocolate!"
Miraculously, none got on her dress.

At my in-law's house, Jadzia loved eating her borscht, which is a delicious purple soup made from beets.  (I like it too).

William got a fairly elaborate robot track, from my in-laws.  My son is a little engineer and was able to figure out how everything works in only a few minutes (about as long as it takes me to figure it out).  The first robot kicks the car, launches it into the claw-launcher, causing the next car to speed towards the giant robot, who punches the building twice, once quickly and a second time with a slow-moving spring-loaded arm.  One car sails out of the building toward the end of the track and the other launches straight at the giant robot, breaking him in half! 

Of course it was also Jadzia's birthday, so she got a tiny icecream cake with candles to blow out.  She gets so excited at the whole Happy-Birthday-singing candle-blowing ritual, whether it's her birthday or not.

First Skate of the Season

My parents bought the kids new skates for Jadzia's birthday, so today I decided to try them out. Of course, since my daughter has never been skating before, I didn't have a proper skating helmet for her. I invited my friend Cara along, whose daughter did not have skates. So we went off on separate shopping trips before meeting at Spencer Smith Park, which has a nice free outdoor rink. I wanted to make a quick stop and get there before the thaw, so I made sure to tell the kids, "We're just going in to get a helmet. We are not looking at the toys, okay?"

William seemed to go along with this, until the route to the sporting goods section took us by a rack of hotwheels cars. He then began a tantrum which lasted through trying on helmets, a decent sized line at the cash register, and the five minute drive to the lakeshore. In the end the only helmet that I could possibly get for Jadzia was identical to the one William already has (it's 2010 and girl's hockey equipment is still scarce). William forgot all about the injustice of not adding to his hotwheels collection soon after he saw his friend Leyla. Their screams of delight shattered eardrums for miles around.

When children outnumber the adults, skating is a lot of excercise. First, I held Jadzia up and skated her along for a short distance, then she held on to the wall/sat on the wall/sat on the ice while I skated back for William. Next I skated along with William, who seemed to have forgotten ninety percent of the skating skills he learned last year. Then I repeated the process, skating with Jadzia, then William, then Jadzia, then William. Considering my children are considerably shorter than me, my back was not enjoying this process. We did one lap as a group, then Cara let me skate once around by myself.

Next we enjoyed some hot chocolate and an overly greasy lunch at the nearby cafe. The kids played in the playground until we were all exhausted. We vowed to go skating again, and often. I love winter!

Knock-Knock Jokes with Jadzia

This one had to go on video.

And here's my favourite Elmo video. I guess I just love to see him tortured.

Basically Sophisticated

I've just been informed that google can now filter results by reading level. As you know, I'm a very sophistercated writer and google will probably list me as highly advanced.

Hmmmn. Well, I'm going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.

Well, if you like writing that's accessible to the masses, you still have time (until tommorrow) to vote for me. Be warned, the Creative Burlington site is written at the intermediate level.

Our Latest Video

I am just way too lazy to blog about our amazing and busy weekend, so William helped me make a video about it.  He chose the title, which isn't all that relevant, but should get us some extra hits from the hotwheels-obsessed 4-year-old demographic.

Pictures to come (maybe).

Jadzia's Birthday Party!

Since my poor daughter chose to be born on Christmas Day, she is doomed to never have her birthday celebration on the week of her birthday like a normal person.  So instead, we had her party today. We had lots of fun.  Well I did.  There were friends and presents and cake and brie and everything.  Here are some pics and a video so you can feel like you were there:

 This Fisher Price Dog was Jadzia's first gift, from her friend Leyla who had to leave early (totally forgot to give her a loot bag).  Jadzia loved this dog since she saw one at the Fisher Price media day at Ontario Place in the summer and I've looked for it but never found it.  It's great to have friends who are good shoppers.  Actually Jadzia loved all her presents. But was a bit overwhelmed at the quantity.

 Notice how the kids look like they are sitting waiting patiently for Jadzia to open her present?  Not so! I was holding children off left and right so that Jadzia could at least be the first to touch her gifts.  At times her friends were a little too eager to "help" her unwrap, and to "share" the gifts once they were open.

I'd like to say for a record that that cake is an ice cream cake that I made myself.  I figured that since my daughter likes ice cream better than cake, I should make it special for her birthday.  Basically it's two layers of ice cream with oreo cookie crumbs and chocolate sauce in the middle, and whipped cream icing.   Jadzia ate the ice cream, leaving the layer of cookie crumbs untouched.

Now sing along to the Birthday Song:

Creative Burlington Posts More Stuff

Creative Burlington now has samples of our work linked on the bio page.  If you just want to read mine, here's a direct link.  I must warn you that the indents and line breaks are all wonky.  Honestly it looked pretty when I sent it to them.  And please, if you haven't already, VOTE FOR ME.  If facebook is a good indication, my Mom has more friends than I do and is sure to steal my prize.  I just bought a new stove and I could really use the money.

Now if anyone knows of a place that will entertain both kids and husbands this morning, please help me out with that too.

EDIT: It looks like Creative Burlington no longer requires you to put in your e-mail address to vote.  So those of you who have already voted can vote again!  (Not that I would endorse cheating, but it is for a good cause: ME!)

The kids go to the dentist

I'd like to begin by saying how proud I am of my son for being so good at the dentist.  He didn't want to go at first, but that was mostly because he was too busy surfing hotwheels videos on youtube.  Once we were there though, he played nicely in the waiting room, then opened his mouth really wide for the dentist, and even let them clean and floss his teeth.  Jadzia was good too, but slightly less enthusiastic about opening her mouth, and her teeth were only counted, not cleaned.  (Unless you count the little piece of broccoli the dentist found stuck in her teeth.  How embarrassing!)

I must admit, I'm a little jealous of their experience. My trips to the dentist involve: freezing, poking with sharp instruments, blood, and a lecture about flossing.  Their trip involved: playing with a plush horse (with creepily human teeth), having their teeth counted, brushing with grape flavoured toothpaste, and free toys.  I still got the lecture about flossing, though.  Apparently, once a day I'm actually supposed to lay William down and floss his molars.  Um....right.

Also William's teeth are very close together, which means when his adult teeth come in they'll be all crowded and he'll need braces.  And he has a "deep bite": his front teeth hide his bottom teeth when he bites down.  I don't know how this with adversely affect his life, but it is apparently undesirable.  Ka-ching!

When asked how he enjoyed the dentist, William exclaimed "It was fun!!"

I'm up for an award (again)

And this time you can help me win!  I submitted the first chapter of my book, tentatively entitled "wardroids" to Creative Arts Burlington for their first annual arts recognition awards.  Unfortunately, there's nowhere where you can actually read my submission, or look at any of the other submissions in any of the categories.  You'll just have to trust that it is as brilliant as this blog...and anything else you may have read of mine.

There are three nominees in the litery arts category:  Jennifer Filipowicz (that's me),  Bobbie Smith (some random person), and Sylvia McNicoll.  That's right, Sylvia McNicoll.  Ever since I was in her womb she's been trying to steal my thunder.  This is sure to split the family and friend vote, leaving Bobbie poised to grab my prize!

Don't let it happen!  Vote here.  You can vote online or print out a ballot to send it (although why you would go to the trouble of finding a stamp when you're already at the website is completely baffling to me).  There are also links to everyone's website, but ignore those and just trust that I'm the best. Don't bother with the other categories either, just type in your e-mail and click the little round button thing beside my name and click "vote."  Yeah, it's pretty straight forward.

Edit:  It looks like Creative Burlington has now put our bios up.  And there's links to writing samples.  Although my link just says "sample coming soon".  I'm not sure why they didn't just put everything up at the same time, but it's their first year doing this so maybe next year they'll be more on the ball. 

William Wanted to Record a Video So Here it is.