Friday, July 22, 2005

Greetings From Earth

So I'm transmitting my blog to space so all you cool aliens know that we humans (and other Earth creatures) are cool people (and animals and plants and insects and germies).

There's sort of a myth on my planet that if aliens came down they would see all our pollution/garbage/poverty/war/realitytv and say "EW! These people are way too primitive!" And either A) get as far away from us as possible or B) destroy us and steal our resources. I never believed that. A species intelligent enough and determined enough to be travelling millions of miles just to check us out, would surely give us more of a thorough look over before they denounced us all as dirt poor, polluting, warmongering litterbugs who enjoy rotting our minds with decorating shows and Canadian Idol.

Prove me right. Come on down to Earth and say Hello!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Goodbye Scotty *tear*

I can only hope that his alzeimer's and death was faked, and that he simply beamed back aboard the Enterprise.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Super Happy Jen and her Super Happy Whip

Since it's my day off, I've been doing the ultra-productive activity of creating my own super hero (or at least a super hero version of myself) using this nifty website I found.

Here she is:

I have to try and get my arms that muscular before my wedding. My dress shows off arm flab too much.

In other news. A couple weeks ago I wrote an article about my call centre experiences. Now two editors from the Spectator want to meet with me about my article and "other stuff". What "other stuff" might refer to is beyond me but she (the editor) says "trust me this is a good thing."

Still don't have Sundays off. Might have found someone to switch Fridays with who's off at 6:30 (emphasis on might). Then I can still go to my writer's group, I'll just be late.

And there's a hurricane in Mexico. Right where we're going to honeymoon. Tra la la!

Monday, July 11, 2005

Stuff(Good and Bad)

The Return of the Parking Bilaw Officer

I got a 35$ parking ticket (again). I really have to stop parking on the road overnight. At least he didn't egg my car this time.

I Have an Amazing Impenetrable Forester.

On the way to work I locked I stopped for gas and, after tanking up at the marvelous price of 95 cents a liter, I locked my keys in the car. I asked the gas station girl if she had anything to open it with and she gave me this wire thing that she uses to reach the pop in the back of the fridge. Some guy tried to stick it in my window but he couldn't reach the unlock button. My doctor happened to be there and he let me borrow his cell phone to call CAA. While CAA did not answer the phone, my call was very important to them, and a CAA membership makes a great gift.

So I asked the mechanic guys if they had something to open it. They said they could for the only slightly inflated price of 25$. Fine. They got out their heavy duty car locksmithing kit (a glorified bent hanger and giant nail file) and set to work. After a few minutes they explained to me that there was some kind of anti-theft barrier in place that made it impossible to break in without damaging the vehicle.

Three people offered their cell phones and one woman told me the story about how she once locked her baby in the car. So I went back to the gas station booth and used the girl's phone to call Adam at work. "I'm stupid. I love you," said I. He called his sister and she brought me an extra key. Thanks Julie!

"Easy" Online Registering

I want to register for the online courses at Ryerson so I can get the certificate in Magasine Publishing, so I can become a magazine bigwig, so I can tell the call centre "chuck you farley". Since I still actually have my student number from the courses I took last year, this should be as simple as going online and clicking "I want that". But I can't register my login for some reason. I called tech support--"Tech support! It's a nightmare!"--and they said I needed to wait until August to use my login. That would make it very difficult to register by July 18! I told them this and the guy said he "didn't know anything about registering" and he e-mailed the registrar for me (I coulda done that, in fact I already did). GAH!

I Just became a Born Again Christian

My manager is going to see about getting Sundays off for "religious reasons". This way I'll have Sundays for Adam and me, and Mondays for me. He's also going to get a list of people that work Fridays but not in the evening, so I can switch that day with them and go to my writer's group! I can beat the system. I can!

Got Paid

Rogers paid me for the articles I published in Today's Parent Toronto, thereby re-establishing my self worth, and reminding me that, yes, I am a professional author (even if extremely part-time)

Friday, July 08, 2005

How do other people beat the system?

A while ago, my work changed a lot of shifts, including mine, from a nice, cushy day shift to a sucky noon-8:30 shift. Yesterday me and this other guy, Peter, were working and it was 7 or 8. When one of us remarked that the rest of our team had already left. This means they somehow got changed back to a premo shift.

"I feel stupid. How were they able to beat the system?" Inquired Peter (or something like that, this is not a direct quote).

Good question. It's not as if I haven't complained. It's not as if I haven't put in a shift change request form. It's not as if they have better excuses.

My ideal scheduel:
  • At least some days off in common with Adam. That means weekends. Preferably the whole weekend like the rest of the universe still seems to.
  • No working past 5:30 or 6. Especially on Fridays so I can actually go to my writer's group.
  • Have maybe ten fewer hours than I have right now.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


Me and Adam went to Live8 yesterday. I had to call in sick to go which means (if my work is paying attention) they won't give me holiday pay for Friday. It was worth it because by going to this concert (which was free, btw) me and Adam are going to completely abolish all poverty in Africa. It turns out all we had to do was listen to some cool tunes, and it would convince all the world leaders (the important ones anyway) to a)cancel debt, b)increase aid, and c)make trade more fair for poorer countries.

a+b+c= 0 poverty.

Anyway they wanted us all to go to and sign this petition thingie. I did, so you should too. Everybody knows that people do whatever you want when you give them a million billion signatures.
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