My eyebrows look fabulous....I guess

In my ongoing quest to make myself look beautiful (and somewhat feminin) for my big day, my mom and I got our eyebrows waxed. This is a new experience for me. I made my Mom go first so that I could run away if she a) screamed in agony or b) ended up looking like a pale version of Whoopi Goldberg. Mom's brows looked nice, and she said the tearing, waxing bit wasn't that painful, so I stepped up to the plate.

So the waxing lady puts some drippy wax wherever there's unsightly hair, then she puts some paper strip on top and tears off the hair. Ow! I should have known this process would hurt more than Mom said it would. My mother has had three children, making her some kind of pain-tolerating superwoman. I, on the other hand, have the pain tolerance of, say, a naked mole rat (which I can only assume is a very sensitive creature).

Okay, so it wasn't so bad. However, even a little bit of discomfort seem excessive for a procedure that produces such a slight difference in appearance that it would impossible to notice without the aid of some kind of optical device (like a microscope, or me saying "Hey, do you like my eyebrows?"). Looking good is all about the details.

Things I hate about my job

I'm at work right now. I quit this job already, yes, but my notice isn't up yet. They don't deserve notice, and I find the very fact that I am leaving here soon is making it difficult to withstand this place. I'm not on break. I'm on "personal" which is code for "going pee".

Things I hate about this job:

• Having to constantly BS to angry customers so they'll stop yelling at me even though I totally agree with them.
• The colour of the carpet. Greyish-purple with grey design.
• Lack of flexibility in scheduling. Even if I pretend to be a religious zealot.
• People who don't know what a mother's maiden name is.
• People who don't listen to me.
• Having to say "I recommend" even though there's no way I would put that on my credit card.
• Wearing a headset without foamies so the plastic digs into my ears.
• Wearing a headset with foamies so my ears get hot and I can't hear anything.
• People who don't speak english but pretend they understand me by saying "Ok" over and over.
• People who thank me for "speaking english"
• People who don't give their last name when I ask them for their name.
• The stuffy air.
• The way all the windows are shaded to prevent anything but florescent light from reaching me.
• The way nobody notices if I do my job well.
• The way nobody notices if I do my job terribly. Even if I leave to pee and am gone 15 minutes.
• People who call from their car.
• Having to listen to the echo of my own voice.
• The emphasis on sell, sell, sell.
• How they keep taking down my drawings
• Whenever I have less than a minute's break between calls.
• The "smart" dialing system

I'm sure there's more but I really should be getting back now. The "smart" dialing system will bombard me with calls since I'm gone so long.

Ten more days to the big W...

I moved into our apartment for a couple days, but my parents freaked out so I moved back home. It's better this way I suppose. Me being twenty-five and engaged is no reason why I should be allowed to live in sin for ten days. Like my sister says, living at home until the last minute will make actually being married more special.

After hearing about this folks often ask if my family is captain and crew of the starship religious. They're not. This makes it difficult to guess when they'll freak out (there being no bible to determine their beliefs). In any case, I love my family. It actually makes me feel kind of special that those last few day are so important to them.

I hereby tender my resignation.

I quit!

It's official. I gave my notice. When I leave to go on my honeymoon, I AM NEVER COMING BACK.

In answer to your questions. No, I do not have a job lined up. Yes, this will likely be difficult financially. Yes, my job is EVEN WORSE than being unemployed.

I am so better than that place. Yipee.

Engfrish

My friend Vicki at work got me wise to the amusing activity of creating Engfrish by translating text in babel fish from English to Japanese and then back again. Here is a portion of our national anthem Enfrishized:

Order we that the O Canadian
Our all our house and the national
True holy love incandescence center force
And rise true north,
We can stand to supervision because of you,
You release from far, wide
O Canada you observe at that

And the Star Trek : TOS intro:

Space, final frontier.
These are travelling of Starship Enterprise.
The five age chart groups, being strange,
in order to explore the new world,
as for the person going before boldly and without being
in order to find new life and new civilization
in order to go to the place.

The Star Trek: TNG intro is slightly different:

Space, final frontier.
These are travelling of Starship Enterprise.
The continuous delegation, being strange,
in order to explore the new world,
in order to find new life and new civilization
because a certain thing where everyone does before
boldly goes to the place

The Magic White Shorts of Tomorrow

I haven't blogged in a while being that my head has been filled with wedding shenanagins. Thanks to Eva (my soon to be mother-in-law) for hosting Monday's Bridal Shower and Lynda (my Mommy's friend) for hosting Friday's Jack and Jill.

Anyway here is a weird dream I had the other day:

I wasn't in the dream is weird thing number one, nor did I know any of the people in it. (The following is the dream as it appears in the diary entry I wrote the next morning)

This family had a lot of boys living with them (between 9 and 13), and an older brother and an older sister. The older brother hated his job and the Dad kept saying "Quit. You find better one." The Dad was an East Indian man who wasn't wearing a shirt and had a hairy back. He couldn't hold a job.

One of the younger boys was sort of evil and carried around a knife. He wanted to go somewhere or find something (forgot this detail). The other boys lured him into the kitchen by saying that they had found a way to find what he was looking for. They killed the boy with knives.

The boy was now a ghost. When he tried stabbing things/people with his knife it just passed through.

Then he found that he could touch the older girl (but noone else). I guess they weren't actually brother and sister because they were making-out.

The girl got the boy a picture book that told you how to get back from the dead. The book had steps with illustrations. One of the steps said "You need to find the magic white shorts of tomorrow". Another said "You cannot wear an orange shirt with the magic white shorts of tomorrow".

I was thinking I bet he's going to wear an orange shirt when I woke up.