Handing me a small lego creation: "Here's your gun. You be a shooting guy and I'll be a happy guy."
"I'm not afraid of Santa. Santa comes for Christmas."
After coughing into his arm: "I just coughed in my elbow. I should cough in my elbow just like Daddy does."
After watching a cartoon about pirates: "I remember I was a parrot in the sea."
"I don't want to wear a shirt or pants or socks. I just want to wear my underwear!"
Sitting on the toilet discussing the flusher handle: "We could take that one off and get a rocket ship. That looks like a rocket, but it's not a rocket ship."
Update: Just after I finished writing this post William walked in holding his nipples. "What are these?" I told them they are his nipples. "Oh nipples, oh yes, I like nipples."