Shadows crept across the wall. A crack in the ceiling let in
the only light. Odrin knew he had only minutes before the guards found him. His
orange eyes widened as they adjusted to the darkness. The alien’s dust-covered bones were laid out
on a table. Though its flesh had long since disappeared, Odrin saw echoes of
the being that his mother had described, the immense height, five-fingered
hands. His hearts swelled with wonder as he gazed
upon the creature that had always been a part of him. Odrin pictured the skeleton
encased in the same pinkish skin that appeared in patches over his own body. He’d
always hated how they marred his violet scales but, in that moment, treasured
their one connection. How stupid he’d been to wait so long to find his father. His
mind burst with questions that couldn’t be answered. Who are you? Why did you
come to this world? Now all he’d ever know was this collection of bones. He
stood mesmerized, not hearing the guard’s approach until she was right behind him. Her stunner seared into his back. His skin
tingled from the weapon’s heat. His last breath reeked of burning flesh. Then everything
faded.
I wrote the above snippet for Rachael Harrie's Campaign Challenge. (This post is #101 on that page. Like it!). The criteria:
- 200 words or less (check)
- Begin the story with the words "shadows crept across the wall" (check)
Bonus challenges:
- End the story with "everything faded" (check)
- Use the word "orange" (check)
- Write in the genre you normally write (check)
- Use exactly 200 words (check)
I used a character from my work in progress. This might end up being a scene in the book, depending on how the story plays out.
17 comments:
OOh very cool!! I wish you'd written more of the story!! I hope I can read the rest of this story some day! Great Job!
I'm entry #19
Poor alien! I hope he ends up okay!
Very cool! I want to read more!! Nice job :)
I'm #37
I liked the science fictiony take =)
Cool! I'll bet the alien is a human, right? Nicely written!
That's quite the ominous scene, and different, at that. Nice one! :)
A very different take on the search for missing relatives. Well done!
I'm #112.
Love the sci-fi! Great job!
#111 checking you out. Love that alien take! Made me wonder what came next.
Very unique. Nice job. :)
Made me wish there were pages to keep turning...
COOL! Aliens are awesome. I always think of x-files, but this, to me, isn't x-files. It's more unique.
Super cool! I love this unique take on the challenge. Orange eyes and multiple hearts - good stuff.
Dangit!!! And he just found his human (alien) momma. Life is just not fair.
*Just posted mine! #167
Very dramatic. Great description in this. Wish I knew more of how they came to Earth - it seems they weren't well received.
I really liked it Jen, great job!
I really liked it Jen, great job!
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