Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Hybrid


Shadows crept across the wall. A crack in the ceiling let in the only light. Odrin knew he had only minutes before the guards found him. His orange eyes widened as they adjusted to the darkness.  The alien’s dust-covered bones were laid out on a table. Though its flesh had long since disappeared, Odrin saw echoes of the being that his mother had described, the immense height, five-fingered hands.   His hearts swelled with wonder as he gazed upon the creature that had always been a part of him. Odrin pictured the skeleton encased in the same pinkish skin that appeared in patches over his own body. He’d always hated how they marred his violet scales but, in that moment, treasured their one connection. How stupid he’d been to wait so long to find his father. His mind burst with questions that couldn’t be answered. Who are you? Why did you come to this world? Now all he’d ever know was this collection of bones. He stood mesmerized, not hearing the guard’s approach until she was right behind him.  Her stunner seared into his back. His skin tingled from the weapon’s heat. His last breath reeked of burning flesh. Then everything faded.


I wrote the above snippet for Rachael Harrie's Campaign Challenge.  (This post is #101 on that page. Like it!). The criteria:

  • 200 words or less (check)
  • Begin the story with the words "shadows crept across the wall" (check)
Bonus challenges:
  • End the story with "everything faded" (check)
  • Use the word "orange" (check)
  • Write in the genre you normally write (check)
  • Use exactly 200 words (check)

I used a character from my work in progress.  This might end up being a scene in the book, depending on how the story plays out.



20 comments:

Jess said...

OOh very cool!! I wish you'd written more of the story!! I hope I can read the rest of this story some day! Great Job!

I'm entry #19

J. A. Bennett said...

Poor alien! I hope he ends up okay!

Alyssa said...

Very cool! I want to read more!! Nice job :)

I'm #37

A.E. Martin said...

I liked the science fictiony take =)

Nancy Thompson said...

Cool! I'll bet the alien is a human, right? Nicely written!

David P. King said...

That's quite the ominous scene, and different, at that. Nice one! :)

Liza said...

A very different take on the search for missing relatives. Well done!

I'm #112.

Daisy Carter said...

Love the sci-fi! Great job!

Lori Ann Freeland said...

#111 checking you out. Love that alien take! Made me wonder what came next.

Alynza Smith said...

Very unique. Nice job. :)

Laurie Buchanan said...

Made me wish there were pages to keep turning...

Ashley Nixon said...

COOL! Aliens are awesome. I always think of x-files, but this, to me, isn't x-files. It's more unique.

alexia said...

Super cool! I love this unique take on the challenge. Orange eyes and multiple hearts - good stuff.

Samantha Drane said...

Love the Sci-Fi angle!! Wonderfully written and very descriptive. As a judge on this assignment, you've been shortlisted to head to round two.
Well Done!

Jay Noel said...

Dangit!!! And he just found his human (alien) momma. Life is just not fair.

*Just posted mine! #167

Nick Wilford said...

Very dramatic. Great description in this. Wish I knew more of how they came to Earth - it seems they weren't well received.

Stuart Nager said...

Nice SciFi interpretation of this. Human dad on the table...the female guard would be important later?

Tale Spinning #58

Traci Kenworth said...

Nicely done!!

C.M.Brown said...

I really liked it Jen, great job!

C.M.Brown said...

I really liked it Jen, great job!

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