K is for Karaoke

As you can tell from the above photo of me singing a duet with my mother, I have a long time love of karaoke. There's a feeling of exhilaration that comes from singing your heart out on stage.  It always makes me feel like a rock star. Of course, there is a high probability that you are one of those individuals who has never been on stage, and doesn't particularly want to try.  Therefore, I have put together a list of rebuttals to common Karaoke excuses.

"I don't really know the song."
It's surprising how often I hear this one, seeing as it shows a complete lack of understanding of how Karaoke works.  The lyrics appear on a screen in front of you.  Simply choose a song that you know the tune of and read in time to the music.  Over-played radio songs are good for the first timer, or something by the Beatles. In the past, I've actually chosen songs to sing because I wasn't sure of the lyrics and wanted to read what Mumbling Rockstar was actually saying.

"I don't want to get up in front of people."
I find the worst thing about getting up in front of people is not knowing what to say, so again I must stress that THE LYRICS ARE PRINTED ON THE SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU.  If you're worried about having all eyes in the room on you, take a look around the room while someone else is performing.  Chances are, only a hand full of people are watching the stage. The rest are looking through the book for their next song, chatting with their buddies, eating and drinking, buying things to eat and drink, or some combination thereof.  Of course, don't lose your fear completely, that's where the exhilaration comes from.

"I need to get a couple drinks in me first."
This is a classic Karaoke mistake and I see it all the time.  On a typical night, you're lucky to get two, maybe three songs in.  That's if you come at the start, stay to the end, and definitely don't wait for your buzz to kick in before handing in your song selection.  Because so many people are working up their liquid courage, the last set is far busier than the first set.  If you get your song in too late, you may not get a chance to sing at all.  Instead, put your slip in early and consume whatever mind-altering substances you need while you wait for your name to be called. Of course, you might be called up quicker than you think so be prepared to sing sober.

"I can't sing" "My voice sucks."
Have you ever seen people do karaoke? Seriously this is a non issue. Between the tone-deaf drunk and the octogenarian singing show tunes, you're sure to fit in just nicely.  Being a bad singer might actually be a plus, because no one wants to follow the vocally trained theatre kids who belt out broadway hits like they're on Canadian Idol.  You know who you are.

"I don't really like karaoke".
I don't understand you and I'm not sure how you can form an opinion of something you haven't even tried.

Money doesn't buy happiness...or does it?

First, I'd like to thank all my friends who came to my karaoke birthday celebration.  For those that couldn't make it, I've posted the above video so you can still have fun singing. These Boots are Made for Walking is an extra fun karaoke song, and I urge you to sing it right now.  Especially if you are currently in your place of employment.  The more people that hear you, the more thrilling karaoke singing becomes.

Special thanks to Becca and Cara who won the 50/50 draw at the random fundraiser that was going on while we were there.  They shared their winnings with me AND paid the tab.  I know the old adage says "Money Can't Buy Happiness" but that was probably written by somebody rich. It certainly increased my happiness to be in the black at the end of the night!

So just for fun, I've compiled a list of things that money CAN buy, that would make me happier:

A second bathroom

I'm sure that when I'm naked, all ready to step into the shower, the kids would still be banging at the door. At least with a second bathroom, I could yell at them to use the downstairs toilet. So many times I have opened the door only to realize that they didn't have to pee, they just wanted to say hi.

More vacations

Full disclosure: I am going to the Dominican in January for my sister's wedding. It is sure to be a fun vacay, but the money used to pay for it is causing much stress on both my mind and my credit.  The more stress I have, the more I need vacations, but since money troubles cause the most stress it's a big catch 22. If I was someone with more disposable income I would take trips at least twice a year.  Once with and once without children. Make that once a month.

Food

My family eats, yes. But when I choose chicken over steak or lobster, I want it to be because I feel like chicken.  Eating out would be nice too, without feeling the guilt over spending money we don't have.

Clothes

I want to go shopping and buy myself a whole new wardrobe. Somehow a couple of shirts off the clearance rack isn't enough for me anymore. Nothing says sexy like a ten-year-old pair of pants with a broken zipper.

Maid service

My mom had a cleaning lady for a brief period when I was in high school.  I hated it.  She would spend the whole time cleaning my bedroom and I would never be able to find anything afterwards.  Now I would sell my kidney if someone would do my dishes and laundry on a regular basis.

Education

I love school and if I had the money I would pick up an extra degree in...well...anything.  I could be a doctor! Or an astronaut! If only I had the money to learn how.

Security

When I was a teenager I kept $1000 in my bank account and began to feel anxious if it dipped below $900.  If I had $900 in my bank account right now I would go on that shopping spree.

Renewed love

I love Karaoke.  Love it.  Before the offspring I used to play a lot of Karaoke Revolution, a wickedly awesome video game that scores you as you sing.  Once in a while, when the moon was full, I even got my Karaoke-hating husband to sing a duet with me.  In recent years, however, I've mainly played games that either don't require reading (so they can be played with kids) or are very quiet (so they can be played after bedtime).  As you might have guessed, this game is neither.

Well tonight I had some friends over, and I roped them into playing my karaoke games with me.  Apparently, the version of Karaoke Revolution I have is for GameCube, which just goes to show you how long it's been since I've played it.  So anyway, we had to play SingStar instead, similar but inferior to Karaoke Revolution.  Despite the limited song selection, and incomprehensible scoring system, we had a blast playing the game.  Even the kids were grabbing the mic and singing.  They couldn't care less that they couldn't read the lyrics and just enjoyed the sound of their own voices.

So now I have a renewed love for Karaoke video games, so I need to stock up.  I need to download more songs for my SingStar, and maybe look for a newer version of Karaoke Revolution.  Yes, that's right, I said 'need', not want, NEED. 

Thoughts from a Super Happy Mind

I was making a package of Mr. Noodle the other day, and it reminded me of a snacking fad that happened in my school around grade seven or eight. We would crush the Mr. Noodle in the package, open it up, sprinkle the seasoning on it, and then eat the seasoned raw pasta as if it were chips. Everyone thought this was a super genius idea. For some reason, I'm not tempted to try it now.

William was wearing his brown and white striped onsie and cargo pants today. Adam put on his cargo pants too, and I said, to Adam, "Wouldn't it be great if you had a brown and white striped shirt to match?" Well my husband thought that would be too hard to find. But later, we we were at Old Navy and found a men's T-shirt with the exact same stripes. Unfortunately, William dirtied his onsie at lunch, but I'm washing it now. This is just too cute to pass up.

Yesterday I went Karaokeing with my brother and Eireann (my best friend and future sister-in-law maybe one day). I made my theme 80s Halloween hits and sung "Thriller" and "Ghostbusters". For some reason my brother, much to the amusement of everyone, enjoys songs that were meant to be sung by women and treated us to "Wouldn't it be Loverly" and Carrie Underwood's "Before he Cheats". Eireann did a rather nice rendition of "Walk this Way." The highlight of the evening was when a slurring drunk guy sang "paradise by the dashboard light" with the Canadian Idol contending karaoke hostess belting out the girl parts. I just love Karaoke.

My husband has just informed me that he heard on the radio that Charlton Heston has passed away. I wonder if anyone thought to take his gun from his cold dead hands.

Yesterday we went to William's friend's first birthday party. If you ever get the chance, I recommend attending a party where most of the guests are under the age of two. Out of all the highly expensive-looking toys and activites, William liked the bubbles the best. Reminded me of that line from "Knocked-up" about kids and bubbles. Apeshit, I think was the term. So true.