K is for Karaoke

As you can tell from the above photo of me singing a duet with my mother, I have a long time love of karaoke. There's a feeling of exhilaration that comes from singing your heart out on stage.  It always makes me feel like a rock star. Of course, there is a high probability that you are one of those individuals who has never been on stage, and doesn't particularly want to try.  Therefore, I have put together a list of rebuttals to common Karaoke excuses.

"I don't really know the song."
It's surprising how often I hear this one, seeing as it shows a complete lack of understanding of how Karaoke works.  The lyrics appear on a screen in front of you.  Simply choose a song that you know the tune of and read in time to the music.  Over-played radio songs are good for the first timer, or something by the Beatles. In the past, I've actually chosen songs to sing because I wasn't sure of the lyrics and wanted to read what Mumbling Rockstar was actually saying.

"I don't want to get up in front of people."
I find the worst thing about getting up in front of people is not knowing what to say, so again I must stress that THE LYRICS ARE PRINTED ON THE SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU.  If you're worried about having all eyes in the room on you, take a look around the room while someone else is performing.  Chances are, only a hand full of people are watching the stage. The rest are looking through the book for their next song, chatting with their buddies, eating and drinking, buying things to eat and drink, or some combination thereof.  Of course, don't lose your fear completely, that's where the exhilaration comes from.

"I need to get a couple drinks in me first."
This is a classic Karaoke mistake and I see it all the time.  On a typical night, you're lucky to get two, maybe three songs in.  That's if you come at the start, stay to the end, and definitely don't wait for your buzz to kick in before handing in your song selection.  Because so many people are working up their liquid courage, the last set is far busier than the first set.  If you get your song in too late, you may not get a chance to sing at all.  Instead, put your slip in early and consume whatever mind-altering substances you need while you wait for your name to be called. Of course, you might be called up quicker than you think so be prepared to sing sober.

"I can't sing" "My voice sucks."
Have you ever seen people do karaoke? Seriously this is a non issue. Between the tone-deaf drunk and the octogenarian singing show tunes, you're sure to fit in just nicely.  Being a bad singer might actually be a plus, because no one wants to follow the vocally trained theatre kids who belt out broadway hits like they're on Canadian Idol.  You know who you are.

"I don't really like karaoke".
I don't understand you and I'm not sure how you can form an opinion of something you haven't even tried.