The Rules, as imposed by Jadzia

1.  Never, ever, leave the room.  No, not even to pee.  You don't actually have to pay attention to me while in the room, but if you leave I will cry. (Note, this rule only applies to Mommy)

2.  Yes, it does go in my mouth. 

3.  Pens are for babies.

4.  The floor and my face are great things to colour on.

5.  I can type your novel!

6.  I can write your blog entry!

7.  I can use your mouse  (and you can't).

8.  I can call random numbers on your call-display.

9.  I only like the remote control that will actually mess up the tv program, video game, or DVD you are playing.  Don't insult my intelligence by giving me the satellite remote.

10.  Food goes on the floor.

11. "No" doesn't mean "no".  "No" means I'm having a really good time doing something I'm not supposed to do.

Warning: seriousness

Despite watching a lot of youtube videos that talk about morality, religion, atheism, etc.  I don't post them here that often. This blog isn't about heady topics that actually matter.  Don't worry, my next post is sure to be an amusing annecdote about children and kitchen remodeling.  But I had to post this one (which is long, just watch it), because this guy is singing my song:
While I don't claim to have all the answers, I've always been annoyed by the "my opinion is as good as yours" philosophy.  Some people are clearly wrong.  Like this guy. Or these guys.  And unlike apparently everyone else, I care what the truth is. 

I was talking to my mother today, not about morality, but about an aquaintance who had recently passed away.  Now I don't believe in heaven (shocking), and Mom seems to be preoccupied with this.  She said was asking where the comfort was in believing that there's nothing after death (I'm paraphrasing here).  I think my response was "It's not my fault that heaven doesn't exist."  What I meant was that an afterlife either exists or it doesn't.  When deciding whether I think there's an afterlife, I didn't really consider what would be most comforting.  Comfort doesn't cause things to exist.  I care what the truth is (see how I tied that in there).

Anyway heaven, or lack thereof, is not all that important to me.  I sometimes get the feeling that my mother is worried that I'm miserable worrying about death and nothingness.  I honestly don't think about it that much. Life is too joyous and wonderful to be sitting around thinking about death all the time. I spend much more time watching TED talks on youtube. 

Amazing Kitchen Cupboards

Last weekend's new pantry has started us on a kitchen improvement kick.   So using a fresh coat of paint (and primer and more coats of paint and maybe a clear coat), we're now in the process of turning my ugly retro wood laminate cabinets, into cupboards so beautiful that they will make me want to spend a lot more time in the kitchen and I will totally get all the dishes done.  Always.  Totally.

 Well you know the old saying: "Anything worth doing is worth doing in red"  (or something like that).  So we chose a nice bright red.  The name of the colour is AMAZING.  No really, it's called Amazing.  Being a sucker for marketing, I immediately knew that this was the colour for us. 

Normally when we're doing any home decor where colour selection is involved, I campaign shamelessly for the brightest colour possible because I know that Adam, when left to his own devices, will choose various shades of tope.  This time, however, Adam found a random picture on the internet with red kitchen cabinets that looked kind of cool and agreed to the brightness without any fuss.   My husband is convinced, though, that we'll have to paint the walls a neutral colour like grey, and not a fantastic complimentary colour like green, to go with our amazing-coloured cabinetry.  Apparently there's some kind of a down side to lots of in-your-face colour.  No matter, we'll cross that bridge some other day.

In the meantime, the small bit of red already painted in the kitchen, is almost enough to make me weep from the beauty. Can you imagine how gorgeous it will be when it's all done?

And here's a cute shot of my kids hugging in the cart at HomeDepot:

I'm Famous!

So I've been watching this web show called Bump+. It's a fake reality tv show (shot like reality tv but using actors) where all the characters have unplanned pregnancies and the writers used the comments to shape how the plot goes.

Anyway apparently I was such a valuable commenter (it's the nerd in me) that they asked me to make a short video for their featurette.

It doesn't matter if I look awesome and am reasonably well-spoken, I feel instantly embarrassed when I see myself on camera. (Also in that second clip, they cut me off in mid sentence. What's that about?)

If you want to see the other Bump+ episodes go to bumptheshow.com. The season is over now so you can no longer affect the outcome of the show through your comments, but no matter, I'm sure they'll do this again.

Watching it again...argh I'm terrible on camera. I can't stand it. But I can't look away.

My new pantry

I'm trying to write a blog entry about my new pantry, but instead I keep looking over my shoulder into the kitchen to gaze admiringly at it.  I'm in love! Both with this beautiful new cupboard and with the handyman who built it for me.

Here's the before shot:

Picture this useless alcove with a giant black Ikea shelving unit sticking sideways out of it.  These shelves were meant to display decorative knick-knacks, but instead were stuffed full with pots and pans, appliances, books, papers, cereal, and anything else that was too tall or awkward to fit in our kitchen cabinets.  I don't know why our house's architect designed such an oddly-shaped kitchen, but it was the seventies (lots of drugs back then).











And some in-progress shots:

My man building me a pantry.  That's pretty much the sexiest thing I've ever seen.  I never got a really good picture of him using the drill though, unfortunately.  Also, I got bored of taking pictures by the time he started building the shelves, so no in-progress shelving shots (I know you're disappointed).  You'll just have to trust me that he built everything with his own manly hands.

























And Tah-dah!

Just look how all our kitchen stuff fits neatly into these shelves with room to spare.  That's a miracle, I tell you.  There's even a little space between the shelves and the doors for the broom, and the sweeper, and for hiding from the kids.  Adam still plans to fill in that space above the doors with some drywall (and paint the kitchen), but that's a project for next weekend.

I love my new pantry!  Thanks Adam!

Happy Mail

I just received what I'm going to call fan mail, from my friend and former Ryerson classmate.  Star Trek bookmarks and Wonder Woman stationary! What more could a girl ask for?  Now I have to buy stamps so I can send some super hero snail mail.

This letter came at the perfect time.  I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself because I'm suffering from the cold that has infected half of Burlington (I suppose it could have infected the other half as well, but haven't talked to everyone in town).  Last night was a good night because I actually slept and so did Jadzia.

The night before, on the other hand, was a different story.  I was all sniffly and snory and mouth breathey and having trouble falling asleep.  As soon as I found a pontentially tolerable position, my husband (who is a light sleeper) asked me to turn over because he couldn't sleep with all my obnoxious breathing.  I tried to accomodate, but Adam eventually went to sleep in William's room.

Then Jadzia woke up screaming.  She's just as miserable as I am, with a constant stream of slime oozing from her nostrils, and an appetite for boob to soothe her sore throat.  From 4 am onward she refused to leave me alone.  She showed no interest in sleep and would not stop screaming unless she had one of my breasts shoved into her mouth.  Finally I brought her into my bedroom, where she crawled all over the place, fell off the bed, played with the clock radio, sorted the dirty laundry, and eventually fell asleep with her upper body on my bed and her legs dangling off the side.  I slept a little until 7, when William came into my room.  He leapt onto the bed, causing Jadzia to slide onto the floor, although miraculously she stayed asleep for another 2-3 minutes.  I was so exhausted I called my parents for help, but everyone was busy.

Last night was so much better (because it included sleep), and the letter in the morning's mail was enough to make the day start with smiles.

A shopping list for Adam

Eggs  - Just one dozen, we have a dozen in the fridge already

Milk - Two bags

Crackers - Any kind that's not whole wheat.  We have whole wheat ones and they taste like wood chips.

Lots of fruit - Whatever's in season and on special.  I think peaches and pears are good, but if they're too hard get something else.  Maybe oranges if they look good.  Don't get apples because we have a few and William doesn't really eat them.

Bread - one loaf, we have another loaf on the fridge.

Margarine

Real butter - Salted or unsalted, whatever's the cheapest.

Brown sugar

Something for dinners - What depends on where you go to shop.  Chicken nuggets are on special at Fortinos.  I believe Longos has some kind of fish.  I'm making stew with leftovers tonight, there's chicken in the freezer and of course we have dinner at my parents' house Friday, and your parents' house Sunday, so only get enough for three dinners.

Vegetables to go with the dinners.

Cream of something soup - Mushroom, or chicken, or celery or whatever.  In case I want to make a casserole.

Something for lunches - KD is on special at Longos.  You don't have to get KD but don't get no-name KD; it is offensive.

Cereal - Not Honey Nut Cheerios but I think that goes without saying.  I've also noticed that William is less likely to eat cereal that has flakes.

Maybe some yogurt - If you have money leftover.

Something you think of that I've forgotten.

Disney on Acid

Today we went to the Disney Ice show at the Skydome in Toronto (yes, I'm one of those people who refuses to call it "the Roger's Centre").   Once in a while, my Mom gets tickets to these things because she's "media".  If you haven't been to one of these ice shows, picture every animated Disney movie you've ever seen, minus any conflict and plot, all mushed together, on speed, and on skates.

We began be eating in that restaurant that looks down on the skydome.  Jadzia didn't come with, so there were no worries about high chairs and strollers.  The adults were my parents and me.  The kids were William and my nephew Hunter.  Try the pumpkin ravioli.  And my Dad's burger looked nice too.

The boys were very good.  Most likely because my mom planned ahead and brought activity books, glow sticks and M&Ms to keep them occupied.  And of course at intermission, Mom bought Hunter a Buzz Lightyear, and William a ridiculous twenty-two-dollar light-up twirly-whirl thingie.

William loved everything, even the parking garage.  "I've never been here before," he said as we walked through the grey dungeon.  He also liked staring up at the CN tower, eating Kraft Dinner at the restaurant, and using the automatic soap dispenser in the washroom.  The Ice Show was pretty cool too. 

My favourite part was the rendition of "The Sorceror's Apprentice" in which all the skaters were dressed as giant blacklight-activated brooms.  I also liked the bit where a bunch of random Disney villains went trick-or-treating at Jack Skellington's house. Each bit was as fun, high energy, and nonsensical as the last.