It all started yesterday when I called Chapters. We left a toy there and I wanted to see if they had found it. Only they couldn't hear me. "What? You want a monster truck book?" Several calls to several different people revealed that either a) I had turned into a robot, or b) there was something wrong with my connection.
Then the internet started acting buggy. Pages were slow to upload, then stopped loading all together. Skype was impossible. The only thing that seemed to work was texting, so I spent the better part of yesterday and today troubleshooting the problem with my overworked husband. By "troubleshooting" I mean I complained relentlessly while he answered with the occassional "OK".
I don't make a great many calls during the day, but knowing I couldn't sent me into a frenzy. Just as I was thinking "What if something happened? I can't call 911!" William ran into the room with his face covered in blood. It was only a cut lip, and as usual my son refused all forms of first aid. He also claimed he "didn't know" what happened. Jadzia also has a small cut on her chin. I've tried to puzzle out in my head what event could've caused both injuries without success. Things happen when kids don't have computer games to play.
Adam has been working late the last couple days, so I've skipped my usual elaborate dinner meals in favor of quick snacks that the kids actually eat. Yesterday I made Zoodles and today I made "pizza" (which in this context means ketchup and melted cheese on a tortilla). Adam called Cogeco on his cellphone when he got home yesterday at ten pm. They are sending a technician tomorrow between 8:30 am and 5 pm. They call this an appointment, but everyone else knows that appointment times are more specific. Listing ones office hours is not the same thing as scheduling an appointment.
Today I fiddled with wires until I managed to get my internet running, but the phone wouldn't even pretend to work for most of the day. Then as I was grating cheese onto a ketchuppy tortilla, the phone startled me by ringing. It was a robot from Cogeco confirming our "appointment". Now Adam gave Cogeco his cell phone number, clearly telling the service rep that our phone DOES NOT WORK, and yet the robot called the home phone. Luckily, I didn't have to say anything to respond to the automated message, I just pressed 1. Humans still can't understand me, but robots don't seem to have any trouble.
Cogeco loves to brag about its awards for customer service. I'm thinking they must have bribed the judges with free cable. I'm not going to hold my breath on the technician either (and not just because I can't hold my breath for eight and a half hours). Once when I didn't answer the buzzer quick enough, they left us without phone and internet for a month.
Now the kids are in bed and my husband is still not home and chatting at friends on the phone is impossible. I wish I was out celebrating the lack of snakes in Ireland.