Monday, November 15, 2004


Adam and I created the following revolving story today (well, yesterday since it's after midnight now). I recommend this activity to anyone who wants to write sophisticated literature; poetic, high-brow stuff. I've corrected some of the typos but have done my best to keep most of the creative punctuation intact. Enjoy.

by Jen McNicoll and Adam Filipowicz

Francine was a super intelligent scientist who wanted to create a super cool Gynoid for fun, and so she would have someone to chat with about super-intelligent scientific stuff. Francine got a whole bunch popsicles sticks and thought to herself.. ah what a perfect material. Cheap available in large quantities and a neat colour.. she also got a glue gun and some sticks.. she began to glue the sticks together but then thought.. hmm maybe this isn't such a great idea.. so she went down to Radio Shack and got some super-scientific stuff including an adaptor that turned popsicle sticks into super-conductive batteries to power gynoids. She made a Gynoid and called her Debra which stood for Damn Elaborate Brain Re Android .. a very good acronym. She then stuck Debra with peanuts thinking children would like her more..

Francine and Debra took a walk to the park where They discovered a body that had been hiding in the bushes for twenty years. Debra called the cold case lady and music from the late eighties began wafting through the air coming from Debra's toes, Debra didn't understand the music as her brain wasn't advanced enough to compute the weird vibes. She began to smoke.. Francine was scared and immediately shut off Debra.. then dragged her back to her lab.. not caring about the soot that was getting all over her new shirt.

Francine installed an eighties a-track adaptor into Debra and fixed the problem. Then she called the cold case lady to see how the case was going. The great part about the cold case files is that they always solve the mystery in an hour.. so it was all solved and Francine was all confident she would not have to think about the cold case ever again.. she then went to the movies. With Debra and the cold case lady. The cold case lady paid for popcorn and jubejubies. Unfortunately the jubejubies were made with live aliens that someone had found on mars and thought was gelatin. So then Francine stuffed the cold case lady full of these jubies and the lady died very horrible death and then vanished without a trace . Never to be heard from again. And then Francine's memories of anything related to cold case was erased magically..

the next day.. They went to the cloning department in Francine's lab and cloned the cold case lady from DNA she found on her shoe. Suddenly Francine's memories of cold case came racing back. Suddenly Debra was horrified to find the cold case lady.. so she grabbed her and stuffed her into the vaporizer with any remnants of her DNA with Francine.. they both died.. Debra then went to Australia and met a guy name coolio.. they bought a microwave. The radiation from the microwave destroyed Debra's popsicle stick brain and she turned into a stupidhead that coolio had to spoon feed. Serves her right for murdering her mommy and the cold case lady.

Coolio went to Brains R Us and bought a new brain.. for Debra.. then installed in 7 minutes.. they then went to the library and took out all books based on the letters C O L & D and burned them.

One day they were watching mice run down a river of blood when.. Debra thought.. hmm I want some paper wall mounts.. to hang some zebras then thought.. I can go to the store.

Debra's brain was not working. The store where they bought it was run by the jubejubie aliens and they had it in for Debra ever since they got stuffed into the cold case lady. The aliens had some of the cold case lady's DNA and cloned her into a super slug.. since they had no idea how to clone. Anything..luckily for Debra.. these aliens were only 3 mm tall and Debra squished them.. without effort..

Debra and Coolio then lived happily ever after in their log house with 2 dogs and 4 kids, 4 cars and a nice digital camera.

The end

1 comment:

LivintheDream said...

First time I saw the McNicoll spelled like mine, and my first name is Debra. Just trippin

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