Recipe: Ham and Cheese Muffins

These muffins are yummy. Mommy told me how to make them in 20 easy steps.

1) Put 1 cup of cheese in the food processor (if you don't have one, I suppose you could use some poor person's device)

2) Food process the cheese

3) Dump cheese into container (for later)

4) Preheat oven to 400 degrees

5) Put 1 cup of ham in food processor

6) Food process ham

7) Put 3 "big T" tablespoons into a cup

8) Microwave buttercup for 41 seonds or 'till it's melted

9) Put 2 cups of flour and 2 tablespoons of sugar and 3 "little t" teaspoons of baking powder in the food processor

10) Give it a whir

11) Put 1 egg in a cup

12) Swish the egg vigorously with a fork

13) Put the eggcup and the buttercup and a cup of milk in a bowl

14) Put dry stuff (flour/sugar/baking powder) into wet stuff (egg/butter/milk) a little at a time while you stir (that's right, use all 3 of your arms)

15) Put ham and cheese in with everything else

16) Stir it up

17) Pam a muffin tin or two

18) Put all the stuff in the muffin tin. Mommy says, if you leave some of the tins empty put water in them so the pan doesn't get ruined (or something...I dunno...just do it okay?)

19) Put it in the oven for 20-30 minutes (start with 20 minutes, then if they still look raw put 'em in for another 10)

20) Ding! Eat the muffins

Polski Flashski

I made a Flash cartoon IN POLISH. (Don't worry, there's subtitles).

http://www.filipowicz.ca/jen/autobus.html

Enjoy.

BTW: Please note, I don't actually speak Polish.

Let the merry bells keep ringing...

I neglected this blog at X-mas. As such, here is the week in review:

Friday, December 24 (Christmas Eve)

In the morning Adam and I went tobogganning on the most perfect tobogganning snow that ever was. I just love tobogganing.

For dinner, my mom made roast beef and yorkshire pudding and crème brulé. Yum! Adam didn't have dinner because he was eating at his parents house (his Mom also made a X-mas dinner extravaganza). After dinner, we found the books that the book elf brought us (the book elf always comes X-mas Eve). I got Oryx and Crake, an SF novel by Margaret Atwood.

Next it was off to the Filipowicz house to eat more dessert and to open presents with Adam's family (his Mom, Dad, sister, and visiting aunt, uncle and aunt Marian). At Adam's house Santa drops off presents throughout the month (I assume this is to save time on the big night) and they open them on Christmas Eve.

Saturday, December 25 (You there! What day is it?...What Day? Why, it's Christmas Day!)

My nephew woke me up at 7am. This is not that early for a kid at Christmas, I grant you, but I was not even close to being slightly by the stretchiest most imaginative stretch of the imagination awake. The exchange went something like this:
Auntie Jen! It's Christmas!
UGhhghhhh
Auntie Jen look! The Christmas Spirit!
Huh?
At this point I look my bedroom window and I see the most beautiful pink sunrise I have ever seen. Okay, I thought, I can get up. Adam slept over so he could enjoy the X-mas morning fun. Unfortunately he slept downstairs and missed the Christmas spirit.

Next we looked in our stockings. Santa accidentally put my icy squares on the radiater and they were oozing something white. They still tasted good though. I won't bore you with all the stuff that came in my stocking, or all the presents (which came next). The highlights: My parents got Adam and I dance lessons (yippee). My brother got me a Leisure Suit Larry Game (Remember Leisure Suit Larry? He's over five pixels now.). It turns out this game is evil and addictive and has been occupying my every moment with its raunchy antics. Adam got me the Nightmare Before Christmas Game. Other people got me some other stuff. Hunter got a plethera of Batman toys. I got him this plush batman that makes oof! noises when you press its chest. It was fun watching him pummel the crud out of it. Poor Batman.

Sunday, December 26 (Boxing Day)

I wanted to go to the zoo (the Metro Toronto Zoo is free with a can of food on boxing day) but NOONE would go with me. I went shopping (which only crazy people do on boxing day) with Adam. Adam bought the Lord of the Rings extended versions boxed set at CinemaOne for a ten dollars more than every other sold-out store. I bought myself a Snow White Evil Queen purse at Claire's (this was marked down to 50% off but I have a suspicion that it was first marked up 103%). On the way home Becca called Adam's cell and asked to hang out. Shortly after Amy and Dayna called and wanted to hang out too. The boy wanted to go to Best Buy (he had gift cards) and Becca came along. All the insane-asylum escapees were shopping at Best Buy. Normally mild-mannered Burlingtonians were behaving like Americans in the parking lot. We all went to Amy's house and had a grand ol' time. Amy and I exchanged gifts. I gave Amy a My Little Pony and a Strawberry Shortcake Umbrella (we grew up in the 80s) and Amy gave me a set of Nightmare Before Christmas plush toys (they rule). Then we all went to see The Phantom of the Opera, which I highly recommend. Here's to us! A toast to all the city, such a pity that the phantom can't be here!


Monday, December 27

We went to Toronto with Adam's parents to get a suit for Adam. I slipped on the ice and fell on my bum. Some old lady came out of nowhere and said "careful, it's slippery". No kidding. The rest of the we hung out with Adam's friend Chris, who was down from Ottawa.

Tuesday, December 28

My nanna (who always brings her friend), uncle, aunt, and cousins came over for dinner. For the occasion I cleaned my room (don't look under the bed). My cousins are the greatest. Kelly taught me some dance moves and Kelly, Joey, Hunter, and I piled on top of Adam and tried to tickle him. He's such a good sport, my Adam.

Wednesday, December 29 (Yesterday)

We hung out with Chris again. We went tobogganning for a little bit. The snow wasn't as perfect as Christmas Eve but it wasn't stupidly slow. We sprayed our sled with Pam, but I don't think it did anything (except leave a trail of yellow, which was pretty fun). Then we played Risk 2210 (which Adam bought himself for Christmas). That game takes 3 hours, a long time to invest in something that your going to just lose. Then we went to see SpongeBob Squarepants. We were supposed to see it with my brother but there was a miscommunication and he didn't come. I was disappointed and this ruined the first 20 minutes of the flick for me. But it was a funny movie.


So that's it.
Happy New New Year!

Blog your own adventure...2nd installment...An alien in a Santa suit

Hi guys, I have stuff to blog about X-mas but there's something infinitely more fun I want to do. My friend Becca started a blog your own adventure at her blog (http://becca_cricket.blogspot.com) and I'm going to continue it here. If you want to read the beginning of the story you have to go to Becca's blog. If you want to continue the story leave some kind of comment here that goes something like "if you want Kaitlyn to go dancing go to www.yourblogurl.com" Then, in your blog, link to both the beginning of the story and my blog. (This is not only fun but also a sneaky way to increase traffic). Enjoy!

_____________________________________________________

When we last left our hero... It was Christmas Eve and Kaitlyn had just heard a loud bang. She ran to the window to see what was a matter. There it was, on the roof of her house; a sleigh, a bunch of reindeer, and yes, yes, the big man himself. Kaitlyn ran down the stairs. Naughty list or not she had to get Santa's autograph. Surely that would be worth risking her presents?

She reached her fire place just in time to see a tiny man in a red suit and black boots wriggling out of the chimney. "Santa!" she exclaimed with glee. Then, something made Kaitlyn pause. The little man had the suit, it's true, and the boots, and even the long white beard. But his eyes were large and purple, his skin was a pale green, and Kaitlyn thought she saw a tentacle emerge brieflly from underneath the coat's white trim.

Kaitlyn gasped. She tried to run but a strange force held her in place. She heard a voice, not out loud but inside her head. Young Earth Animal. Do not be fearful. I am Nicton from what you would call Jupiter. I am a scientist. I only want to have a look at your organs. I promise to put everything back when I'm done.

Kaitlyn did not like the sound of this!

12 Days of Christmas

It's here! It's on time! My 2004 Flash Christmas greeting. This may be my best work yet! (or not, you be the judge).

Click HERE to enjoy this fabulous work of art absolutely free!


MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

If you have praise/critiques/comments on 12 days of Christmas, please comment here. And stay tuned for a Polish flash cartoon entitled "Autobus" some time in the new year.

Tardy Christmas Flash

I decided to make a Christmas Flash movie based on the Twelve Days of Christmas. I don't want to give much away, but the sound track (if I ever get it to work) is sung my none other than the lovable Bing "White Christmas man" Crosby, and some woman.

Note that I said "if I ever get it to work." The animation is no problem for a silent flash veteran like myself, but this year I wanted to go to the next level. Now I have to learn a whole new set of program quirks. For example, when I test the movie the song plays over and over and over again, even after I tell the 'puter to stop playing. The only way to stop the persistent Christmas crooning is to shut the program down completely.

I hope my Christmas Flash isn't tardy.
Adam, help me?

The Creepy Train Man

My parents and I took Hunter(my train-obsessed nephew) to ride the Christmas train in Hamilton. They put this train up every year for the kids to ride for free and there's also some live reindeers there that you can feed by buying pellets out of a 25-cent machine. It's a perfect family-friendly, Christmas card moment. Except...

The guy who operates the little train is a scary creepy man. He wears a filthy blue mechanic's jumpsuit and smells like cigarettes. The children giggle and chortle, enjoying the ride, completely oblivious to the creepy man's evil scowl. When the train stops all the little three to six-year-olds leap out, run around the gate to the entrance door and line up. The exact same children line up each time, all the while the creepy man scowls. Then, suddenly and without warning, he takes a smoke break. The children stand at the gate with bewildered expressions on their faces. The creepy man's break is just long enough for Hunter and I to feed the reindeer. When we return to the train, the man has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. The ashes fall to the ground as he lets the kids on the train. Hunter and the kids ride the train one more time and then, again without warning, the creepy man runs away dwon the street. The train was supposed to run until 7:30pm and it was only 6. I guess the man went off to have dinner, but he didn't say boo to anyone.

They asked me back on Monday

Friday was supposed to be my last day for marking Grade Ten Literacy Tests. Unfortunately the stream of stupidity is unending and they asked me to come back and mark on Monday. The money lured me in.


I think I'll go shoot myself in the foot.



Oh, by the way. Happy Birthday Amy!

Grade Ten Illiteracy Test

I've been negligent in my blogging of late because I've been working as a marker for the Grade Ten Literacy Test (you know the test all the Gr10s have to pass or "no high school diploma for you dorks!"). Anyway, I signed a confidentiality agreement saying I wouldn't talk about the marking process or any of the test answers. I assume this is because if, say, I mentioned a funny wrong answer in my blog entry the following might occur:

• The kid who wrote the answer (or a similar answer) might happen to read my blog
• Said young person would think to himself/herself "Oh crap! That was wrong!?"
• This highly illiterate, yet technically savvy, young teenager would build a time machine, go back in time to when he/she was writing the test, and change the aforementioned answer.

While this might at first seem like a big threat; you will see from the following two points that the chances of problems arising from this scenario are minimal:

• If the aforementioned youngster finds the test difficult to comprehend, he/she will not understand the complicated vocabulary of my blog
• Even if he/she does manage to understand my blog, build a time machine, go back in time and change his/her answer, he/she will likely get most of the other test questions wrong and fail anyway

Unfortunately I did sign the agreement so I can't tell you anything. You aren't missing much, don't worry.