Sunday, January 02, 2011

New Year's FAQs

I'd like to take this opportunity to answer some frequently asked questions about my Super Happy New Year's.  At least, I think these questions would be frequently asked if I were one of those popular bloggers who got e-mails with questions from time to time.  If you have any other questions that you frequently ask in your head, please comment below.  I will do my best to answer each one individually (but you know, I'm so swamped with comments I may not be able to.

Question #1:  How did you celebrate your New Year's?

Our New Year's usually involves sitting around with my husband possibly watching the ball drop on Global (because for some odd reason we don't get Citytv).  This year (or rather, last year) I decided to have a party instead.  I invited all my Mommy friends and their families, some of whom showed up.  The goal was to relive my party days, when New Year's Eve meant drinking with friends.  And we succeeded, sort of. The last guest left at 11 pm, because over-tired children tend to be less well behaved than well-rested children.  Who knew?  Anyway, William did make it to midnight (he saved his meltdowns for the next day).  We watched the ball drop in Niagara Falls (on Global).  The Barenaked Ladies sang Auld Lang Syne.  Also everyone brought snacks, so we had our New Year's Day breakfast and lunch covered.  Thanks guys.

Question #2:  Have you made any New Year's resolutions?

I actually make resolutions throughout the year, so New Year's isn't special to me in that way.  Normally my resolutions involve writing more and playing computer and video games less.  This is tough because I got Mario Galaxy 2 in my stocking. Also there's literally an infinite amount of online games I can access using the same tool I use to write.  It's like storing your heroine in the same drawer as the stuff that helps you not take heroine (I have no idea what that stuff might be, since I've never been a drug addict, so that analogy didn't work as well as I thought it would).  But I do have ammunition.  This year, my writing group friends and I are taking an online course called Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviours (aka how not to procrastinate 101).  The first lecture had, among other things, some stuff about how sleep is good.  So at 12:30 am I was sitting at my desk, reading about how sleep will help you loose weight, be more productive, etc.  Now I'm trying to go to bed at 11 pm and get up at 7am.  That's been going okay.  I'm still playing lots of games, but I'm sure the second lecture will help me out with that once I get around to reading it.

Question #3: What is your favourite Star Trek movie?

Ever since I was a kid, my favourite Star Trek movie has always been Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.  In it, Captain Kirk and his friends have to go back in time to get some humpback whales (they are extinct in the 23rd century).  The result is a ridiculous 80s comedy in which Spock jumps into a tank in a cetacean museum to mind-meld with a whale. Gold! The moral of course is that we should save the whales, because you never know when they are going to stop an alien probe from destroying the planet.  Okay, nobody has asked me this question, but Adam recently bought Star Trek IV on blu-ray for only $7.00!!!!  Score!


Question #3 (From an anonymous comment below): If you found yourself on the sinking Titanic, what would be your Survival strategy?

I probably got to the Titanic using some kind of time machine, in which case I would prepare myself before the trip by appearing to be insanely wealthy.  That way I would be let on the life boats with the first class passengers.  If I had no preparation (ie: I fell through a random time portal, on the way to the grocery store) I would dazzle the captain with whatever futuristic technology I had on me (iPod, digital watch, disposible diaper, etc) so he would believe that I am from the future/an alien and do whatever I say.  Then I would have him turn the ship away from the icebergs and sail safely to a tropical island.  Failing that, I would find a giant piece of floating debris and hang out on it until help arrives.

Question #4 : If you could be the leader of a religion who would you be?

As an atheist, I really have no desire to be the leader of a religion, but if I had to choose one I would have to go with the Pope.  He's got power.  He's got cool hats.  He's got a bulletproof limo (such faith!).  I'd have to be a man, though, which is annoying because I enjoy my breasts and vagina.


Anonymous said...

If you found yourself on the sinking Titanic, what would be your Survival strategy?

Anonymous said...

If you could be the leader of a religion who would you be?

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