Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Voting For Candidates Based on Looks 2011
*Disclaimer: this is meant as a bit of fun. You should probably not actually base your vote on how the party leader looks.
So I watched the leadership debate last night after an exhausting trip to Great Wolf Lodge. The candidates gathered in a circular set, awkwardly coloured in oranges, greys and blacks, and bickered relentlessly offering little of substance. Many a media organization is racing to offer you, the voter, an in depth analysis of the exchange, but only here will you get a guide to voting for the candidates based on their looks.
Gilles Duceppe. I may not agree with all his separatist ideals, and I can't vote for him anyway, but I have to admire this guy's sense of style. His tie print featured either butterflies or flowers, wonderfully complimenting his pinstripe suit. Compared to the other fellas drab ensembles, Gilles came across positively flamboyant. Perhaps this is a Quebecois thing? Of course, as always his pointed ears and piercing eyes make him look like a vampire (not Edward Cullen or Bella Lugosi, more like Nosferatu).
Stephen Harper. In the first voting based on looks post, I compared Steve to an aging ken doll. I suspect he is actually an android. His hair never moves and skin is unblemished and shiny, particularly his lips. Also his hand gestures remind me of the animatronics at Disneyland. The debate began with a one-on-one exchange between Nosferatu and the robot. Pointless, yes. Hilarious, mildly.
Jack Layton. What a trooper this guy is! He has cancer, has lost a bunch of weight and is walking with a cane. Not only does he not let it get him down, but he actually made a joke about it, saying how he would have to lend Harper his crutch to stay in power. Zinga! Did anyone else notice that Jack's skin is the exact same orange as the set backdrop?
Micheal Ignatieff. I think he's gotten greyer since he took over the liberal party. Maybe this was on purpose, because for some reason it makes him look friendlier. He's trying really hard not to seem like a slimey car salesman and I give him props for that. He's also the only leader who wore a tie that matched his party's colours and the one with the bushiest eyebrows. When Jack and Mike go at it I keep wanting to yell at them to kiss and make up. If they joined forces they could do some serious robot butt-kicking!
Elizabeth May. She wasn't there, and she's hopping mad!
If, for some reason, you need more than just looks to decide on who to vote for, the CBC has this nifty little tool. You put in your stance on certain issues, and it tells you which party's views are most similar to yours. It didn't really tell me much that I didn't already know but it makes the decision process into a fun quiz game! Incidentally, I think I'm probably going to vote Liberal.