My Productivity Grinds to a Halt

I have a hundred and three kind-of-okay jobs that I'm going to apply for. I applied for three using the lazy girl's method (e-mail) then I came across one that you could only apply by dinosaur (fax). No problem, I say to myself, I'll just write up my cover letter and résumé and File Print to Fax. Easy. Peasy. Japanesey.

Alas! No printers are installed on my computer since Adam "fixed it". Okay so.... Start. Printers and Faxes. Set up faxing. Sell soul to Satan okay? Okay. Next. Next. What!? I need the Windows XP CD! Why would I possibly need that? I don't have that.

Okay so that's not going to work. So I call Adam. Adam I can't fax anything what do I do? Adam suggests printing whatever I need to fax then faxing it super-dinosaur way (by actually using the fax machine). So now I have to install the downstairs printer, which means I have to install the driver, which means I have to download the driver.

I find the driver pretty easily on the hp website (I just have to run all the way downstairs a check the front of the printer to see what its name is and then run upstairs and type that in). I download the thing all zipped. I unzip it (and see its undies ooooooh!).

Then this box pops up and gives me a bunch of options (nice to have choice) and the only option that could possibly apply to my is Install Printer and Drivers or some such. So I clickety click that. Okay. Okay. Perform sexual favours for horny programmers okay? Okay. Next. Next. Next. Then it asks me if I want to attach my printer using one of those tiny USB cables or one of those big honking ones. There is no option saying "the computer is downstairs dumbbum!" so I randomly pick the big honking cable.

The computer says it will wait for me to attach the printer. You'll be waiting a heckuva long time sweetie pie. Finally it says, "Nothings happening. Should I keep waiting?" or something. I click the no-never-mind-this-isn't-going-to-work button.

Okay so we'll try another thing. I go to Start. Printers and Faxes. Add a Printer. I find where the downstairs printer is on the network. Next. Then the computer starts to panic "I need a driver! Where is it? Where is it?" No worries. I tell the computer where I saved the driver that I downloaded from HP. The computer decides it didn't like the driver I downloaded and gets all cranky, freezes and shuts down.

When the thing has booted back up the printer appears to be installed. Okaaaaaaaaay. So I open up my document and File Print. After a while a dialogue box pops up saying "The printer isn't picking up the phone and it doesn't have an answering machine. Should I keep trying?" Argh. No. Never mind!

I think I might have installed a drunk driver or maybe a driver who failed the G1 exit. Anyway, I'll try to delete the printer and then reinstall it. Maybe that will work.





But probably not.