I have to write a 200 word story that begins with the sentence "The door swung open". Bonus points if it ends with "The door swung shut." Extra special bonus points if the piece is 200 words exactly. Here goes:
The door swung open like a cross between a drawbridge and the cargo doors on a military plane. Faster than Angie would have imagined, she found she didn’t have time to decide whether or not to run. She had no doubt that the occupants of the cigar-shaped ship could already see her, standing in her pyjamas in the ankle-high grass. As Angie waited, she looked back in the direction the ship had come. It had knocked down the old oak tree with the tire swing before carving a black scar through her parents’ corn field, narrowly avoiding the farm house where Angie’s family had been sleeping. Looking back at the gaping mouth door of the space ship, Angie was shocked to see not a little green man with a bulbous head, but a blond girl of about three years old, her wide brown eyes framed by dark lashes. The girl held out her arms as though waiting for a hug. A sudden longing brought Angie to tears. The child smiled an impish grin and Angie could no longer resist. She ran up the ramp and took the delicate creature in her arms. “It’s okay,” Angie whispered. The door swung shut.
That's it. Hopefully a mildly original take on the UFO-in-the-cornfield cliché. Exactly 200 words so long as you count "ankle-high" as one word (Microsoft Word does). I urge you to try out this fun little exercise, even though you can't win a prize unless you are signed up for the campaign.
Edit: If you like my story, be sure to go to this page and press the like button above my name (I'm number 27). Get me in the running for the people's choice awards.
29 comments:
Oh, that was so very good! Captivating, and very definitely a twist at the end. Well done, Jen!
Another unique take on those opening words! I'm really blown away by all the different stories I'm reading today. ~ Nadja
lovely new UFO take. Great ending!
What's that scary movie with all the blonde kids? 'Children of the Corn'? ...nice creep-factor :)
Love the whole alien angle. And I believe the little blond children were in "Village of the Damned." :P
LOVE this! Woohoo for scifi entries!!!
Great entry! I loved the ending. Creeeeepy.
cool! love alien stories!
Ok, so you have me wondering if it's a kidnappee being returned or an alien in disguise! Loved it!
Hi. I'm in your sci-fi group. Nice story in 200 words. Well done.
So I haven't come accross the anouncement for this challenge yet. Off to check the Yahoo group.
Great job. You inspired me to do accept the challenge. I hope you come and check it out soon. Going to write it now. BTW just saying hi as a fellow campaigner.
Awesome little sci-fi piece. I liked the ending.
Woo hoo, a scary UFO story in 200 words. Great stuff! D
I've followed you fellow campaigner!
Super scene, Jen! Wouldn't trust the little girl with the innocent green eyes, though! I'm a new follower from the campaign trail!
Oooh, I wouldn't be beguiled by a cute little girl. Okay, maybe I would. hehe.
Nice job. It's hard to resist a sweet little girl. I'm #72
Well done, Jen, and true to your genre! I'm so impressed you managed to do it in exactly 200 words! You've motivated me to add this challenge to my to-do list. I didn't get a notice about it though. Must look!
Hey Jen, nice to meet you. I'm a fellow campaigner from the beginning bloggers group stopping by to say hello and become a follower.
Very nice, I love the *impish* grin. ; )
Hey I just saw in your BIO that you are from Canada. I grew up in Alberta. :)
I like the black scar in the cornfield. Great description!
That is an awesome take on the alien/cornfield approach. Well done. Consider me a new follower! :)
I like this take on the whole UFO thing and nice twist. Good job!
I liked this...I am so happy the little girl did not turn into a monster...yet!
Very interesting!
Ooooh, I gots me a bad feeling about the little girl! From the longing the child brings out in Angie, I'm envisioning a race of evil aliens that's able to transform themselves into would suck you in the most in order to ensnare you. For me, it would be a really cute dog! Lol...
Nicely done!
Thanks for sharing. I have to say, I'm wondering if the blond kid was just somebody who the aliens took for a joy-ride, or if they really are soul-less shape shifters.
It's nice to meet you, I'm in the Canadian Campaigners group, so I'll be seeing you again down the Campaign trail. Can't wait!
Very fun! And the twist with the little girl drawing in the earth-being at the end was quite clever!
You set the scene with a lot of description. I liked how the alien warped her emotions. You hooked me. Good luck with the challenge.
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