Becca's in Labour!

My friend Becca is in labour at this very moment. She got some gel put on her and her water broken with a rug hooking needle, which is cheating, so she didn't technically win the baby race. When Adam and I went to see her Becca was doing a super great job of pretending the contractions were "not that bad". She seemed very relaxed and happy, without the aid of drugs (so far). Of course, this doesn't mean that labour will be a piece of cake for me. Becca has this way of turning even the most unpleasant situations into the best experience, whereas I just tend to complain or make jokes or both.

Anyway I'm so proud of Becca for doing so well, and so excited to meet her baby. Congratulations Becca! (Congratulations to you too Drew, good job being a supportive labour coach/husband)

Dylan's Birthday and a Dream

First some photos I took yesterday at my cousin Dylan's 2nd birthday party:





What cuties eh?

On a completely unrelated note, I had a very strange dream last night. Adam and I were taking a first aid course, only this time be were at a house. I got the impression that some real emergency (murder, horrible accident) had happened at the house and our class was acting it out to teach us what we would in that situation.

Then the teacher (who was a man, even though our real teacher was a woman) led us into the woods on the trail of the murderer, who may or may not have been a grizzly bear. I thought we were only going a few steps into the woods so I neglected to put my shoes on when we left the house. We went deeper and deeper and I kept waiting for the guy to turn around. He didn't so finally Adam and I left the group and went back to the house to get our shoes.

For some reason I wanted a cup of water and a cup of sugar. There was a Wendy's in the house and we went there. We had two of those wax paper Wendy's cups for them to fill. Adam ordered a cup of sugar, a cup of water and an ice tea. The girl at the counter was all confused. Instead of getting us a cup of sugar, she filled the cup with all kinds of stuff they use to make drinks sugary; fruity syrups, jujubes, etc. In the end we had a super-concentrated sugary drink.

I'm trained in first aid...can I help you?

Because we're all about not having a choking baby, my husband decided it was a good idea for us to take a St. John's Ambulance First Aid Course. So we spent the day breathing into dummies, tying scarves around each other, and watching videos of pretend injury victims. My favourite video segment was the one on amputation. Good clean fun.

So you'll be happy to know that my husband and I are now capable of helping an adult, child, or infant who is choking, bleeding, has an amputated finger, is having a diabetic emergency, or an asthma attack, or an anaphylactic reaction, or a heart attack, or a seizure. Well, at least we have a certificate that says we can do those things and that's really what's important.

I figure, given the sense of humour of the universe, you only really need training like this when you don't have it. So by taking this course, Adam and I have prevented ourselves from ever having to face any kind of emergency.

This week and beyond

Tuesday

My last prenatal appointment, my obstetrician had to rush off to an emergency C-section. My husband and I were in the waiting room with two other ladies. One came in before us and the other came in after us. The receptionist was sending people away and telling them to come back in the afternoon, but she didn't say anything to us until one of the other women said "Excuse me, is he still going to be able to see us?" That's when the lady who came after us was told to leave and come back later. About a half-hour later the lady who came in before us was told to leave as well. She was having a test done that was going to take longer than my five-minute measure-the-belly-and-hear-the-heart appointment. The woman had already been waiting an hour but she was very gracious. So the doctor called us in, took my blood pressure, measured my belly, listened to my baby's heart, and asked if I had any questions or concerns. My biggest concern at that point was that some poor woman was waiting on an operating table for him to cut her open! I wish that woman and her baby good health and I certainly hope everything went well.

Yesterday

My friend Becca is going to have a baby in less than a week. Her due date was January 27th, but the pushed it back to the 21st because her baby was measuring large at her last ultrasound. So technically she is now overdue. Anyway, yesterday she went in for something called a "membrane sweep" that's supposed to get things all kick started. As far as I understand it, the doctor reaches up where the sun don't shine and separates the membrane from the uteran wall, kind of like separating the skin from the shell of a hardboiled egg. This should put a woman in labour in anywhere from six hours and 3 days. Becca and Drew (Becca's husband) came over after the sweep. I was hoping that Becca would go into labour right there. I'm thinking it's like yawning. If two pregnant women are together and one goes into labour, then the other one will too, right? Well nothing happened. If nothing happens by the 31st they'll induce.

After Becca and Drew left we went over to my Mom's house for some homemade chinese food. My Mom makes the best wonton soup ever. My nephew was dressed like a penguin, complete with orange ovenmitts on his feet.

Today

Today is my last Writer's Group for a while. We meet every two weeks to one month to comment on each other's writing and drink tea. I'm hosting tonight because the group doesn't want me driving all the way to Mississauga or Etobicoke so close to my due date (visions of me giving birth by the side of an icy highway in the middle of the night). Since there's only 3 people in our group it will collapse when I'm not there. We'll do it over the internet for a while (no tea) and when I get settled with the baby and stuff we'll start the group up again. Who knows when that will be. I'm going to go by milk because normal people have milk in their tea and don't, like me, turn it into lemonade by adding half a lemon and three spoons of sugar.

In T-minus...

Check out the countdown on my husband's blog to see how long I have until my baby is born, right down to the millisecond. At the time of this entry I has 9 days and 11 hours to go. If only things were that exact. Of course, I'll probably still be pregnant on V-day. If I am, Adam and I will go out for a romantic dinner at a Mexican restaurant.

Six hundred two and a half hours!!!!!!!

I've done it! As of today I've worked the 600 hours needed to apply for maternity benefits. In fact, I'm two and a half hours over.

Special thanks to the good people at these fine establishments:

*company name censored*, aka the pink dust cloud, who hired me to work once a week just because I begged them to. And they fed me lunch.

Express Personnel, who worked their butts off trying to get me enough hours, and, when they had no work from clients, brought me in to do busy work in their office.

I'll be applying for my benefits on Friday, when the aforementioned employers will supposedly have my Records of Employment ready. I shall have to bring them a present.

Rubber Ducks

I had a dream last night that an army of rubber duckies were coming after me. They were marching through a field. Well, I guess they weren't exactly marching because rubber duckies don't really have legs. And no, they didn't have guns or teeth or any feature that made them scarier than normal bath toys. They were just ordinary yellow rubber ducks. But there were so many of them!

My interpretation (based on the dream dictionary)

The ducks represent my flexibility (ducks can walk, fly, or swim, so they are super flexible.). Not sure if this duck interpretation extends to the rubber variety, but rubber is supposed to mean flexibility too. More likely that dreaming of bath toys has something to do with babies. Anyway the field represents great abundance, freedom, happiness and means I'm going through personal growth. I'm personally growing a big belly with a baby in it. The army could be an overpowering force working against me, but seeing I'm so darn flexible (and the army is made up of toy ducks), I'm not super worried about it.

Still Pregnant

I'm at work today in the flourescent pink dust cloud. Apparently my dad, who also works here, has started an office pool predicting when I'm going to pop. Someone here is going to make 100 bucks. Not me, I'm just going to make a baby.

There are bets marked down for as early as this Monday. That would suck because it would leave me with one shift to go before I make my 600 hours. I'm not too worried about it though, I'm sure I'll still be pregnant on Valentine's Day.

Pregnancy Party (aka Baby Shower)

First a little test: which of the people pictured above are genuine pregnant ladies, and which are wearing baloons under their shirts? (Answer at the end of this entry).

Today was shower day. My mother-in-law always goes all out every time she hosts a party and today was no exceptions, egg salads and crab salads and chicken wings and chicken fingers and cream puffs and my mother-in-law buzzing around going "Does anybody want ice cream? Does anybody want tea?" My mom made the ultimate carrot cake. There was a good mix of my friends and Polish folk, cousins-in-laws and the like.

And of course presents. My son will be nicely well dressed for his first year of life. The gift opening was accompanied by a rousing game of "Gift Bingo". This idea was shamelessy swiped from my friend Becca's baby shower and I highly recommend it for any gift-giving occasion. Before present unwrapping begins everyone fills out bingo cards with items they think might be in the gifts (bottles, stuffed toy, wipes, etc). Then cross them off as the presents are received. If someone get a line, she yells BINGO! and wins some trinket. This makes your guests less likely to have their eyes glaze over while you open your twentieth baby-blue bag full of blankets and onesies.

So a good time was had by all. Though when I got home I was disapointed that it was only 6:50pm, and nowhere near bedtime. I feel a wee bit sleepy.

Answers, from left to right: genuine pregnant lady (my friend Becca), balloon-wearing imposter (my nephew Hunter), balloon-wearing imposter (my sister Robin), and genuine pregnant lady (it's me!)

Working in a happy pink cloud

Another fabulous day at *company name censored*, my Mom's friend's business. I'm working here once a week so that I can earn all my precious hours and get maternity benefits.

What the company does: They sell flourescent powder. Companies put the stuff in their pipes to check for leaks. The office is always covered in this pink dust which I'm told is non-toxic. My pink sneakers are getting pinker and pinker every time I come. Definitely not the type of office one dresses up for.

What I do: filing, posting bills on the computer, printing envelopes. I can't do those last two things right now because for some reason my computer isn't talking to the network. I consulted my two tech support people: my husband who advised me to reboot the computer, and my Dad who crawled under the desk checking all the connections. Neither troubleshooting technique worked. So I'm "testing" the internet while I wait for the other computer to be free. Seems to work.

In other news: I'm cooking a vegetarian meal for my friends Val and Justin tonight. Val told me that she doesn't want me to go to a lot of trouble but this week I'm in the mood to expand my cooking horizons. I'm making angelhair pasta with a basil pepper sauce and tabouli. If anything turns out I'll post it on my recipe blog. If nothing turns out I shall crawl into a hole and never speak of this again.

Belly shot

Now that I have a cool camera, I can take my own preggers belly shots. This is how my son's house looks when I'm looking down on it. Luckily, all my stretchmarks are on the underside of my belly so I can pretend they aren't there (until they start itching). They ominous shadows of my breasts, however, are always clearly visable.

In other news, I've almost got the 600 hours I need to apply for maternity benefits. I've been scraping together hours by working at a temp agency and at my mom's friends business. I have 33.5 hours to go and only 4 weeks left of pregnancy. Now it's a race.

And I know some of you care, so here's what kind of camera I have (based on what's printed on the outside of the thing). Let's see. It's a Lumix, made by Panasonic, DMC-FZ7. It's got a 12x optical zoom (to get super close-up goat pictures). It also says that it's 35mm equivalent, but it's digital (obviously). It takes rechargeable fancy batteries (instead of AAs). It's not an SLR but it sort of looks like a cute miniature version of one. Well, actually it's quite large compared to other cameras I've had.

Most Photogenic Animal

The winner of most photogenic animal at the Toronto Zoo, Boxing Day, 2006 goes to...
(drum roll)...

This Baby Mountain Goat!!!

Runners up: other mountain goats, a camel, turtles, foxes, a hippo's foot. Rather than bore you with endless zoo shots, I thought I'd just post the best. As you probably guessed, I got a new camera for Christmas. It's got a wicked zoom, so you no longer have to use a magnifying glass, or any "Where's Waldo" skills to find the animals in my snapshots. So now I'm on my way to becoming a professional goatographer.

Super Happy Nativity Scene

Hey, I got around to making a new X-mas flash afterall! I'm not usually this traditional but what's X-mas without a nativity scene?




Merry Christmas Everyone!

12 Days of Christmas...OR LESS!

I know it's hard to believe, at least for the snowless citizens of B-town, Ontario, that Christmas is coming THIS WEEKEND. So I thought I'd get everyone in the spirit by posting this flash I made last year. No, I'm not just lazily rehashing old cartoons, I'm creating my own Christmas tradition. Every year, me and my blogger peeps can gather around our computers for a showing of this, admittedly shoddily made, yet somewhat amusing, flashterpiece. Then get yea to the mall, there's not much time left!

Merry Christmas Everyone! (even if you're not Christian. Hey, I'm not Christian either).

Prenatal Horror Theatre

Lately I've been having some feelings of apprehension regarding my appending delivery. Okay, okay, more like terror. Some things that have contributed to my fears:

• Being that I have lead a very sheltered life, I haven't really experienced any real pain. I don't even have cramps when I get my period, so I can't even fathom what labour will be like.
• Our most recent prenatal class talked all about labour and delivery. We watched videos in which women gave birth. Even though they did all the breathing and pain management BS that people talk about, it still looked like a horror show. Was this supposed to make me feel better about going through labour? It didn't.
• I'm of the philosophy that no pain is better than pain, so I plan to have an epidural. But then I saw this episode of Bringing Home Baby where the mom had super big headaches from her epidural, when she stood up or sat up. They were so bad that she couldn't even get up to go to the washroom and her husband had to bedpan her! This seemed to defeat the whole purpose of an epidural. A browse of the internet told me this was rare, and that it happens when the needle goes too deep and some spinal fluid leaks out. It can also cause double vision and hearing problems, because basically your brain doesn't have enough fluid to float in. They can try to patch the hole by sucking blood our of your arm and injecting it in your spine, but then you might get meningitus. I hate needles enough without having to read all this!

The Dream

So last night I had this dream that I was in the hospital. I hadn't even had any contractions yet but for some reason I knew that I was about to go into labour (I don't think I was being induced, I just knew somehow). I thought that I would wait until I was farther along in labour before they would give me an epidural. That's usually how they do things in real life.

Instead, they came in right away, a nurse and a black guy in OR scrubs that I knew was the anesthesiologist. They didn't even ask if I wanted an epidural, they just said it was time, and that was that. I leaned over while sitting on the bed to receive the needle. The anesthesiologist was about to put the needle in, but the bed was so bouncy that I couldn't sit still enough. I remember asking him if he'd had any patients who'd had an epidural headache. He said he hadn't done that many, but I didn't know if he meant that he hadn't given that many epidurals, or if not that many of his patients had had the headache. I was scared that the bouncy bed would make him slip and make the needle go too deep. Eventually we just had to take the mattress off the bed so I had a flat place to sit.

The epidural seemed to work okay after that. So maybe it'll be okay.

The Good Symptoms

Today my arm hurts, especially when I move it. It feels like the tendons and muscles have to stretch beyond capacity just to move my elbow properly. This is similar to what happens to my calves sometimes when I get a leg cramp. I don't even have to look it up to know that this is yet another bizarre symptom of pregnancy. Honestly, what do my limbs have to do with growing a baby?

At this point I could grow a third arm (something that would be pretty useful right about now) and I would just be like "ho hum, yet another pregnancy symptom nobody told me about".

Even before I knew about all the weirdness, I was never one of those women who wanted to be pregnant. I wanted kids, and pregnancy was just something I had to go through so I could be a mommy. Now that I'm going through the experience, I do have to say that there are some enjoyable bits, such as:

• Baby kicks. This is hands down the best part of being pregnant. It starts at about 4 months with something that could actually be gas and increases it intensity until you have this other-worldly creature manipulating your belly from the inside. Honestly I could be the star of the next Aliens movie. When he really goes to town you can see these kicks from the outside. He moves fast too, rolling across my belly like he's dodging bullets. The novelty never really wears off either because the kid gets stronger and stronger. At this point I can kind of see the shape of him when he comes to the surface. Though I'm still not sure what part is his head.
• Not having my period. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love not having my period. This is probably the reason why some people have 17 kids, and why some mothers continue breastfeeding until their kid is in college (breastfeeding can sometimes keep you from getting your period too). Of course, I know I'm not really avoiding my period, just banking it so I can get all the weeks at once after I deliver. Better to get it all over with in one shot, says I.
• Being the centre of attention. The pregnant bump is a great conversation piece and it means everyone around me talks to me about babies. This is fabulous because I get SO bored with small talk about the weather, what people do for a living, celebrity gossip, relationships, politics, and the weather. Did I mention the weather? Who cares! Babies is a topic I can get interested in. In fact, it's all I think about. That, and what I'm going to eat next.
• My super appetite. I can eat as much now as my 6'2" husband (usually), and when I get exactly what I want, the food tastes more delicious than ever. Sure, I'm gaining weight, but it's all going towards my boobs and baby (in that order).

That's all I can think of right now. I should also mention that I got a phone interview to be on the show "Birth Days" a Life Network show that I gather is the Canadian equivalent of TLC's Bringing Home Baby. Even if they choose us, we might not do it. Adam's shy about being on camera (I find most guys who are into photography are). Anyway the lady who talked to me seemed to want Adam and I to have conflict, but unfortunately for her we're the perfect couple.

Wicked!

I'm a big Wizard of Oz fan, so Wicked the musical wasn't a very hard sell for me. Turns out the Wicked Witch of the West wasn't that evil after all. She was just misunderstood, 'cause she was green. The big mystery of the show for me was how Elphaba (the witch's name in the musical) was able to touch the other characters without getting green make-up all over them. I'm thinking they just made the actor eat nothing but spinach and green jello for 3 months.

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the play. I was so into the character that, knowing she was to be melted, I felt all tense and sad and scared for her.

Some highlights:

• Finding out how the lion, the tinman, and the scarecrow came to be
• The big mechanical wizard head
• The flying monkeys (they were neat-looking, much more so than in the flick)

I'm going to have to watch the Wizard of Oz again now to see if I can answer all my "now wait a second, if she isn't really wicked then in the movie why did she..." questions.

If it's good enough for Bon Jovi's kid

For the past few months (basically since we found out I was pregnant) Adam has been trolling the internet, looking for the most new, innovative, and expensive stroller technology. Daily, the husband shows me videos and quotes reviews about these stylish yet over-priced items. A stroller is like baby's first car, and should our little bundle have the sportiest model?

We talked seriously about getting the bugaboo, the trendiest and most high-priced of the lot. These things are everywhere, which is surprising since it costs $1000, and that's if we smuggled it across the US border illegally, avoiding taxes and duty by calling on my father-in-law's Polish mafia connections in New York.

My reason for going along with the plan to spend a sizable portion of baby's college fund on a stylish pram, is that many of these expensive models have reversible seats. Meaning baby can have the traditional outward facing position, or he can face Mommy. Now I read somewhere (likely when I was interning at Today's Parent) that if a child faces his his mommy (or daddy) while in his baby carriage there will be more bonding between parent and child, mommy will talk to baby and baby will observe how words are formed by watching her lips, baby will therefore learn to talk quicker, he will develop a stronger vocabulary than babies in front-facing strollers, he will learn to read faster, he will do better in school, and he'll grow up to be a genius.

So we got a stroller with the reversible option. We didn't have to go to another country, and we didn't have to pay a thou (close, but not quite). We settled on the Rockstar (pictured above) which comes with a bassinet so you can make it a pram, or a regular stroller seat that you can recline at all different angles and face any way you like. Bon Jovi endorces this carriage, so you know it's cool.

Plus, it comes in red.

What's up with this dream?

I dreamt that Bele was still alive. Someone had found him outside and brought him to me. Adam and I were visiting someone with the pigs and I wanted to clean the cage before I put Bele back in so that he wouldn't catch whatever had killed him before. We were looking for garbage bags and (for some reason) rubber maid containers. When I put Bele back in the cage, Lokai was happy to see him. I think they were actually having sex at some point (yes, I know, but this is as X-rated as my dreams get).

As I mentioned, we were visiting someone. There were lots of people, a party I guess. The pigs' cage was on the floor and some woman was walking her dog around the living room. It was a big dog, like a bull terrier. When the dog got near the cage he swallowed Bele whole!

The woman said she was sorry and reached her arm down her dog's throat in an attempt to retrieve Bele. We thought that the dog might have thrown up Bele into the garbage chute, so everyone at the party was searching through a basement full of garbage looking for him. There was a little girl there who wanted to leave. I gather she had somewhere to be and her Mom was making her stay to look for Bele. She kept saying "I want to go to _____ now." (The blank of course referring to wherever she needed to be, but I don't remember where that was.) I kept saying to everyone "You have to find him, he's my miracle pig."

I think someone did find Bele, but he wasn't as whole as we at first thought.

A Jolly Happy Soul

Even though I'm not that big for a woman entering her third trimester, I feel like a snowman with legs. You know, three big snow balls on top of each other: belly, boobs, head. The problem is the boobs. I have a smallish preggers belly with humongous breasts. GAH! My back is also protesting the change in my body. I bought myself a super expensive back massage chair with my birthday money, and I also got one of those pregnant belly cozies. All these things help, but don't cure what ails me.

On Wednesday, Adam and I took a tour of the hospital where my son will be born. It kind of freaked me out. Phrases like "labouring" and "pain management" were tossed around frequently. Of course I checked out the other pregnant women's breasts. They were just as small as ever! Honestly I bet they still wear a C-cup, so their belly looks larger and rounder, which makes them look all glowing and pregnant, instead of like a frumpy snowwoman. It is so unfair. Oh well. I bet all those women have hideous stretchmarks. And hemorrhoids.

Anyway, I'm sure it will all be worth it. I mean, look how cute this kid is:




Now I'm off to Becca and Drew's baby shower! (Their unborn son is cute too)

Jen's Fantabulous B-day Weekend

I know you are all anxious to find out what I did for my birthday on Friday. Here's the lowdown:

Friday November 10th (my birthday)

After work my husband and I went to my Mommy and Daddy's house. Mom made a super delicious, and highly labour intensive, meal of rouladen and spaetchle (with cream spinach!) It was a wonder to behold (and to eat, of course). Afterwards we had chocolate cake and ice cream.

Prezzies:
-Tickets to the musical "Wicked" (from Mom and Dad)
-DVD of season one of "The Tick" (cartoon) and "Wonder Woman Season II" (from my brother, Craig).

Next we watched a couple Tick episodes with my nephew, Hunter). Then we hung out until it was late enough to head to Karaoke night at the bar down the street. Craig, Rob (my sister), and my Adam all came and we sang and sang. Well, Adam didn't sing, but the rest of us were all up in there. Don't worry, I only drank ice tea and water.

Saturday November 11th (Rememberance Day/ 3D ultrasound day)

Adam's prezzie to me was a 3D ultrasound so I've been keeping myself all hydrated. Me, My Adam, Mom and Dad, Robin, Hunter, Craig, my mother-in-law Eva, my father-in-law Chris, my sister-in-law Julie, my best friend Eireann, and my best friend Becca and Drew, all crowded into the Ultrasound room to see my bare belly. If you were to compare Saturday's pics of my unborn son, to the one taken at the baby show demo (I'll post some pics soon so you can do that), you might think it was a completely different baby. His face has filled out a lot more and he actually looks even cuter! The ultrasound tech was cooing about how accomodating my baby was. He showed us both ears! What a good baby. We also got yet another confirmation that yes, he is a boy along with a clear snapshot of his, um, bits (to show future girlfriends).

Afterwards my Mom served everyone lunch, which was basically a late Thanksgiving, or early Christmas dinner. We had turkey and yorkshire pudding and stuffing and all kinds of yumminess. My Mom's a fabulous cook. Later the whole gang (minus the inlaws) went to see my nephew's choice of movie: Flushed Away. It was good, great slug bits, but I liked the movie with my son in it better.

Prezzies:

The ultrasound (from Adam)
A highly useful weird alien robot thing that sings different beats and can plug into a radio or mp3 player (from Becca and Drew)

According to Adam, I have another present on the way in the mail. He wouldn't tell me what it is, but assures me I'll like it.